i am depleted.
that is the best word i could come up with. the joy of companionship i can respect seems so distant now. i'm made to ache in such terrible ways. my only remedy the drunk and the few friends that care enough to drive me home to safety.
c'mon people - at least that is there and well appreciated. i can't think right now. i cant' sleep. there's just so much longing here for something better to happen to me. it can't just compound itself continously into a void of sadness. right? something has to give. something has to make things better.
tonight, i may have been harsh. i may have projected the wrong myself onto those who didn't even deserve to know.
maybe a puppy is the way out. maybe i'm just resigning myself to a sleasy trick i can't take pride in. maybe i'm just denying the true nature of things and i'm just trying to rationalize a better relationship for all those things that are missing from my life.
fuck it all. fuck everything. it's time i just dove into it and let it take me far away from all the mundane noise of this shallow existence and into the sea of dreams and hope.
there's little else to consider.
fyi: the words aren't falling on deaf ears. i hear everything. i remember everything. nothing escapes me, which could explain a lot. fuck it. no time to think. only time to sleep, to sleep, to sleep and perchance to dream.
that is the best word i could come up with. the joy of companionship i can respect seems so distant now. i'm made to ache in such terrible ways. my only remedy the drunk and the few friends that care enough to drive me home to safety.
c'mon people - at least that is there and well appreciated. i can't think right now. i cant' sleep. there's just so much longing here for something better to happen to me. it can't just compound itself continously into a void of sadness. right? something has to give. something has to make things better.
tonight, i may have been harsh. i may have projected the wrong myself onto those who didn't even deserve to know.
maybe a puppy is the way out. maybe i'm just resigning myself to a sleasy trick i can't take pride in. maybe i'm just denying the true nature of things and i'm just trying to rationalize a better relationship for all those things that are missing from my life.
fuck it all. fuck everything. it's time i just dove into it and let it take me far away from all the mundane noise of this shallow existence and into the sea of dreams and hope.
there's little else to consider.
fyi: the words aren't falling on deaf ears. i hear everything. i remember everything. nothing escapes me, which could explain a lot. fuck it. no time to think. only time to sleep, to sleep, to sleep and perchance to dream.