(most of these I've seen or heard)
1. How many tickles does it take to tickle a squid?
answer: TENticles!
2. Jim comes home to find his wife cheating on him with another man in their very own apartment. Angry, Jim runs after the naked man who jumps out of the window. Quick thinking, Jim tosses his refrigerator out the window but is thrown out as well when the cord wraps around his leg, taking and killing Jim along with the naked man below.
*somewhere in the afterlife three men stand waiting to be judged*
Man #1 to man#2: what are you here for?
Man#2: A man tossed a refrigerator out the window and on my head for sleeping with his wife, you?
Man#1: I caught a man sleeping with my wife, tossed my fridge at the asshole and it took me out the window with it.
Man#1 and 2 to Man#3: what about you?
Man#3: I was hiding in a refrigerator when some angry man came in yelling and the motherfucker tossed me out the window!
3. A woman goes into labor and her husband takes her to the hospital. She's in so much pain that the doctor asks the couple if they would like to try a new experiment where they can be hooked up to a machine and transfer the pain from the mother to the father.
"YES! Let's do it!" said the couple.
So the doctor hooks up the machine to the man and turns the machine on 10%.
Doctor: do you feel anything?
man: no
Machine goes up to 50%
doctor: anything?
man: nope
100% and by now the woman is pain free
doctor: anything now?
man: nothing at all!
Anyway, the couple wind up having a healthy new born baby. When they finally bring it home, the milkman was dead on the front lawn.
