whatswrong

my roomate asked me Monday if his coke fiend girlfriend could stay with us for a "couple of days". of course this means atleast two weeks, which im not so fond of. alas, he pays rent too; i have very little choice. all is going well so far, she's doing the dishes and sweeping the floor. she's already managed to walk in on me taking a piss. she freezes like a deer in headlights and the only thing i could think to say was "i just changed your life".

thanks coke head.

the only real issue is the smell....

the smell of woman is penetrating through the fucking walls. especially the bathroom; god forbide i catch a drift of female ass. theres no need to disguise the smell of bodily functions with cheap perfume and potpourri ughhhhhhh. make it go away. the whole fucking house now smells pretty. it used to smell like stale beer and cigarettes, how i miss that smell.

ideas to combat the smell of flowers and excessive politeness:

allow a homeless man to slum on the couch without permitting him to use the shower
get a pet skunk
put a fan infront of my work boots
close the windows and smoke an ounce of marijuana
ozone generator
hide fish throughout the house