today i go have dinner with the family (you can stop reading now).....i get to see all the lovely people i've tried so very hard to escape from my entire life....

my step mother: what a gorgeous woman---if you like Phyllis Diller
her brother: they call him bunny, fuck if i know why---they should call him Retard--this is the guy who never goes anywhere without a 2 liter of diet Mountain Dew....his neighbors call him Dew
step brother: simpleton
my oldest brother: also known as "the good son", for two reasons as far as i can see
1-he can procreate (not that i can't, i just choose not to utilize my seed)
2- he has his PhD.......go fuck yourself Doctor Giggles, you can't even do your own brake pads
sister in-law: why is your face always shiny? quit smiling and trying to be nice to me....are you of sound mind? take notice that no one else is talking to me and follow suit
my younger brother: go get laid or something you sad bastard, your 20 and you've never touched a girl...makes me wonder
father: quit telling me i need to pursue further education, im not the Doctor son...im the- live in the woods with lots of guns, son. quit asking me the same fucking questions...the answers are always the same....yes i know im pale and need to get some sun.....i don't like the sun fuckhead (it's bright)......oh and by the way, your wife looks like Phyllis Diller