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I am not sure why I am so down all the sudden. I think its just cause everyone I know is settling down and I really want to settle down too. I mean i lack the experience, I lack a car, but I have the heart and the trust. I was reading an old entry from Halloween and it was talking about how i wish I had my own little one to take out and about, or up to McDonalds or to a Pixar movie. I want to be the stay at home parent I want to work on marching band shows in my office and ocasional take breaks to play video games with my kids, i want to have dinner ready for my wife when she comes home. I want so much and yet I am too self concious to go out and get it.

This site is wierd as in it offeres a lot of chances to talk to like minded people, but the ones you meet that are the most like you are either taken or live in a totally different state, i guess thats just the irony of life. Plus these days being innocent is sort of frowned on, its like society has shifted towards just hooking up and one night encounters, no ones there when u wake up.

I needed to rant for a bit I am usually not always so negative.

I decided to watch "Welcome To The Dollhouse" and just clean up a bit before bed.