westcoastsamurai

Well if I wasn't the "other" man before, I certianly am now...shit, how can I be so smart and yet so stupid when it comes to women.

Once again life has decided to punch me in the gut when it all started going good, but instead of bitching about it like I have been for most of my life, I'm just going to suck it up and deal with it and go out there and make myself happy somehow.

I think I'm going insane, I fear I'm becoming obsessive and creepy, I don't honestly expect any response to this but I just needed to get it out somewhere.

Life is good.

You know what's strange, when thing's aren't going the way I want them too, I have plenty of stuff to bitch about, but when things are going really good, all I can say is "life is good."

Maybe it's because I find it easier to highlight the negative and bitch about it and look for sympathy (even if it's unconscious) over highlighting...
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I've been bitching too much about my continuing girl troubles lately...and it's not about to stop now. I like having somewhere that I can rant all I want and not care if it annoys or pisses anyone off (well I kinda already do that, except to my friends.)

Anyway, I think I'm becoming the "other" man. She said she wanted to cool off, yet two...
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Man nothing ever seems to work out the way I want it.

First there's the whole girl thing Ive got going on, we were getting closer and I start being hopelessly optimistic for once thinking that she might leave her guy soon but today she tells me we should cool it off, just when I start getting my hopes up.

Then there's my job situation....
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I am honestly confused; this girl is confusing the hell out of me. We spend a shit load of time on the phone, we email each other every day, hell even today she was putting our names and birthdates into some love compatibility test. I don't know, but it doesn't seem to me like you'd do any of this if you were only interested in...
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Well after my twelve hour marathon phone fest, Ive talked to the girl every day of the week. Last Saturday night she came over and was at my house from 11 pm to 9 am watching tv, and last night I talked on the phone for 7 hours with her. Ive now lost over 22 hours of sleep in a week talking to her, thats...
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Shit, I spent twelve hours on the phone with that girl the other night, twelve fucking hours. I can't believe I was on the phone that long; I don't even talk on the phone to my friends.

Twelve hours and I didn't even get anywhere, why the hell do I do this, why do I fall for girls with boyfriends, and then become their friends...
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Good god, I just can't fucking win.

So I take a friend's advice and ask out a girl that I don't really know. I mean, I've talked to her a few times, enough to know that I wouldn't mind seeing more of her but not enough to really know that much about her, so I ask he if she'd like to get dinner together or...
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I hate work, it sucks all the enjoyment out of life and replaces it with bitterness. I really want to quit but nooo, I need the money. Come to think of it, I hate money too, damn you money and damn everyone for not making everything I want free.

I actually asked a girl on a date today, actually I asked he if she'd like to get a bit to eat sometime (or something along those lines).

Surprisingly I didn't get a No, which I expected, nor did I get a yea, I got a maybe. Its been my experience that maybe is the same as no, and it's usually easy to tell. But...
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