As we all know girls that play guitars are goddesses among us. As we all know if you're in a band, no matter how shit, people will want to stroke your naughty bits more. If you combine the two you have mix that no pornography can match in regard to its effect on my groin. This is why I have been preemptively banned from any Donnas live performance.
Yet this formula has been corrupted, its corrosion has probably not been missed by you. In the interests of me finding something funny to write about though I'd like to highlight it.
This band may not of started it, but because I can't be arsed to properly research things I'm laying the blame at their feet (and cos I wasted money on their album).
What we have here is two things, rock and fuckin' roll and something your mum might like. By "something your mum might like" I mean Amy Lee's vocals. I can't criticize them, she's a good singer. It doesn't fit though, its too pleasant. Rock and Roll isn't pleasant, its a raging cry of rebellion. The music you're listening to should make your mum worry about what drugs your on and if you've been to a Satanic orgy. It should not make her want to borrow it for the school run.
Next up, Arch Enemy.
Arch Enemy sound like what would happen if you let Regan from the Exorcist front a metal band. If you're thinking "That would be fucking hilarious" well done you are completely correct. It is hilarious, until you remember the band aren't doing this as a joke. Then is becomes even more hilarious. Quick note for lead singer Angela Gossow the following band of ladies managed to sound scary without resorting to Linda Blair impressions
One more, here's the terribly named Epica
Once upon a time a band called Metallica decided to do a live show with a full orchestra. And it rocked. Sometime after a band called Epica decided to have an opera singer do their vocals. And it sucked. Even though she was a hot redhead. Having James Hetfield do "One" over strings works, having a pretty lady warble over metal riffs does not. This is also goes for many other bands that exist in the genre of "melodic rock". Melodic Rock, or alternatively rock your mum would like. As I've already covered if you're music is parent pleasing you have a big problem.
And thats the end of a probably badly argued excuse to laugh at some bands I don't like. Here's some I do -
Animal Collective - My Girls
Propagandhi - Today's Empires, Tomorrow's Ashes
Anti Flag - Safe Tonight
Byee
Yet this formula has been corrupted, its corrosion has probably not been missed by you. In the interests of me finding something funny to write about though I'd like to highlight it.
This band may not of started it, but because I can't be arsed to properly research things I'm laying the blame at their feet (and cos I wasted money on their album).
What we have here is two things, rock and fuckin' roll and something your mum might like. By "something your mum might like" I mean Amy Lee's vocals. I can't criticize them, she's a good singer. It doesn't fit though, its too pleasant. Rock and Roll isn't pleasant, its a raging cry of rebellion. The music you're listening to should make your mum worry about what drugs your on and if you've been to a Satanic orgy. It should not make her want to borrow it for the school run.
Next up, Arch Enemy.
Arch Enemy sound like what would happen if you let Regan from the Exorcist front a metal band. If you're thinking "That would be fucking hilarious" well done you are completely correct. It is hilarious, until you remember the band aren't doing this as a joke. Then is becomes even more hilarious. Quick note for lead singer Angela Gossow the following band of ladies managed to sound scary without resorting to Linda Blair impressions
One more, here's the terribly named Epica
Once upon a time a band called Metallica decided to do a live show with a full orchestra. And it rocked. Sometime after a band called Epica decided to have an opera singer do their vocals. And it sucked. Even though she was a hot redhead. Having James Hetfield do "One" over strings works, having a pretty lady warble over metal riffs does not. This is also goes for many other bands that exist in the genre of "melodic rock". Melodic Rock, or alternatively rock your mum would like. As I've already covered if you're music is parent pleasing you have a big problem.
And thats the end of a probably badly argued excuse to laugh at some bands I don't like. Here's some I do -
Animal Collective - My Girls
Propagandhi - Today's Empires, Tomorrow's Ashes
Anti Flag - Safe Tonight
Byee
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Im not sure i would say banging necessarily, but some kind of word that would equate to it. Usually i just say 'rave' to denote goodness
You know, I thought one of the dudes from Apocalyptica was a chick on their videos for ages. I never heard the end of it.