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watch_it_burn

Denbigh

Member Since 2006

Followers 15 Following 28

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Monday Dec 22, 2008

Dec 22, 2008
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I've no idea if curiousity actually leads to the death of feline critters. I do know that it will lead to the demise of your sub woofer. Especially if you buy a cheap one from Cash Converters. To illustrate my point I have two examples -

1. I get home with my new subwoofer, tear it from the packaging and hook it up to my home cinema amp. Next I choose a suitable movie, in this case my new copy of Transformers. Disc in, movie on and skip to loud noisy bit. For some reason theres no activity from the woofer. There's certainly no sofa shaking bass that I'd imagined. Clearly its not turned up enough. I adjust all the dials to 11 and restart the film. For a few brief seconds there's a colossal booming din. Then nothing. At all.

An examination of the device reveals the internal fuse has blown. Replacing this makes no difference. Time to go back to shop for a replacement. Which segues nicely into the next example.

2. Get sub woofer home, package tearing, installation and film. Before all this I have had advice from Jason a friend thats well versed in the art of home cinema. He instructed me that you don't just wack it on max volume because this breaks things. The lesson still clearly ringing in my ears I test it with a movie and a couple of games. Its performance, although not earth moving, was satisfactory. Now to try it with some music.

A random selection from my collection of mp3's delivered a fantastic bass thump. I wanted more though. It needed a proper work out. It needed "No One Knows" by Queens of the Stone Age. Oh lord it was good, only at gigs have I had a song actually vibrate through me. Then i wondered "What happens if you turn it up?".

The answer was swift. It breaks. Now delivers a feeble kick and high pitched crackling noises. I concluded it was "fucked" and boxed it up for another trip to shop. And my money back.

In conclusion: Don't buy things from Cash Converters. Or ignore knowledgeable peoples advice. But mainly the first one.

In other driveling attempts at funny my Xbox went to red ring heaven yesterday. A - fucking - gain. Good job I hadn't less than 24 hours previously bought some games to see me through the christmas break (12 days off!). Except I had and the previous sentence is a lie.

Last time this happening the help of my friendly neighbourhood Gamestation manager The_New_Scum secured me a new one post haste. Since he's moved onto better things and they don't make my model anymore my 360 is Microsoft bound. Good job there's not a national holiday in few days otherwise I'd be experiencing quite a wait for its return. Oh hang on a sec there is, due to some kid being born in a barn 2000 years ago I'm unlike to be gaming until sometime next January. It could be wrong of me lump all the blame on Jesus, but I'm going to anyway. Fuck you Jesus.

Since I can't get to a post office until after our yearly celebration of something that probably didn't happen I had a look around the internet for quick fixes to my problem (spurred on by Jason). Here's a few tips I found.

Covering the 360 in a towel

The probable fault with my console is due to excess heat that causes some of the sub standard soldering to become unstuck. This solution requires covering your Xbox in a towel creating even more heat and therefore melting the solder again into original desired configuration. Makes sense right? Well no not really.

How exactly does this excess heat fix only the connections that have come unstuck? Are towels that precise? Is it not more likely that if normal operates temperatures will fuck your 360 up increasing the temperature will introduce even more problems? Like perhaps the whole thing melting into a unrecognisable plastic soup. Thats disregarding the danger of leaving a combustable material around a increasingly hot electrical device. I suspect that when the fire department investigate why your dwelling is now a gutted shell the conclusion will be "Homeowner is a retard".

The above however is more logical than Mr Spock compared to the next fix I found.

Put your Xbox in the microwave

You want me to put a complicated piece to electrical equipment in a microwave? A machine that cooks things with radiation. An appliance well know for its ability to blow up if you put metallic objects in it. Thats what you believe will cure my problem?

I'm not a scientist, but this can only end in fail. And your mum asking what happened to the microwave.

In conclusion then, my house is haunted by evil spirits that like to destroy electrical equipment. If I never post again you know whats happened, and what to do. Call that weird midget woman from Poltergeist. And lend me your Xbox.
niobe:
Happy Holidays! kiss
Dec 28, 2008
huw:
You can't have mine.
How was your christmas mate?
Dec 31, 2008

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