I'm gonna get my driving licence tatooed on my forehead so i dont have to keep digging it out of my wallet everytime I want to buy some beer. For some reason its not good enough to look over 18 to get your beer on, now you have to look over 21. If you consider that about a year ago I got asked for ID to buy some smokes you may see the extent of my problem.
I look forward to when the Grim Reaper comes looking for me. I figure he will consider me younger than my real age get confused and come back a few years later. I'll of cheated Death as long as it takes the form of a symbolic harvester of souls and not cancer or a heart attack from my years of nicotine pleasures. I miss smoking, but recently came too close to someone that had just finished snacking on a tube of smoke filled wonderment. I now know what it smelt like when Andy crawled through the sewer at the end of the Shawshank Remdeption. It was fucking horrible, i was praying to suddenly contract leprosy in the off chance it would cause my nose to fall off.
When I quit smoking I swore I would not become an anti-smoking bastard, mainly cos I don't like choking on my own hypocrasy. But Jesus Christ if you are gonna do that could you at least stay away from those of us with a sense of smell.
Which brings us neatly to the best film ever (or at least the best thing I saw today, that isn't Kari Bryon, or Spiderman) "Monster House". You know all those crappy B-movies that have fucking great titles like "Attack of the Giant Leeches" or "It Conquered the World" but fail to deliver the excellent premise? "Monster House" has the cracking premise and delivers, its ace. If anyone has a way to persuade Pixar to remake "The Navy Vs the Night Monsters" (starring Mamie Van Doren and her awesome boobs) please let me know. I need more rubbish B-movie plots dressed up as CGI kids movies.
I just noticed my age went up a year. Its wrong though, just ask any checkout operator.
I look forward to when the Grim Reaper comes looking for me. I figure he will consider me younger than my real age get confused and come back a few years later. I'll of cheated Death as long as it takes the form of a symbolic harvester of souls and not cancer or a heart attack from my years of nicotine pleasures. I miss smoking, but recently came too close to someone that had just finished snacking on a tube of smoke filled wonderment. I now know what it smelt like when Andy crawled through the sewer at the end of the Shawshank Remdeption. It was fucking horrible, i was praying to suddenly contract leprosy in the off chance it would cause my nose to fall off.
When I quit smoking I swore I would not become an anti-smoking bastard, mainly cos I don't like choking on my own hypocrasy. But Jesus Christ if you are gonna do that could you at least stay away from those of us with a sense of smell.
Which brings us neatly to the best film ever (or at least the best thing I saw today, that isn't Kari Bryon, or Spiderman) "Monster House". You know all those crappy B-movies that have fucking great titles like "Attack of the Giant Leeches" or "It Conquered the World" but fail to deliver the excellent premise? "Monster House" has the cracking premise and delivers, its ace. If anyone has a way to persuade Pixar to remake "The Navy Vs the Night Monsters" (starring Mamie Van Doren and her awesome boobs) please let me know. I need more rubbish B-movie plots dressed up as CGI kids movies.
I just noticed my age went up a year. Its wrong though, just ask any checkout operator.
the_new_scum:
Happy Birthday, dude
huw:
Happy birthday man!