This is probably one of the greatest show-promoting posts I have ever seen:
"A STEP BY STEP GUIDE TO MAKING A SHOW MORE FUN FOR ALL THE FAMILY! (First published in 1981 by Mr Iam Scene.)
000 - All Ages!
DO bring - mates, children, nieces, nephews, mums and dad. DO NOT bring any bullshit.
001 - 20:00 Kick Off!
Do not turn up earlier than 19:59:59.99 I meant it, I don't care if you have frostbite or if you need to pee or if you are wanting to give me free records. If you choose to turn up early and hang out (READ : GET IN THE DAMN WAY) then that is cool and awesome, but be warned, the cost of admittance will be 50. Also it should be noted that if you turn up later than 20:15 you will miss bands and be a loser and everyone will turn at stare at the person who being late is cool.
002 - Bring a Fiver
You are either playing or you are paying, no exceptions. Think that is over priced? Go cry about it in your live journal. Venue hire is cheap but the bands will be fed and watered and all the cash will go to those entertaining you. Petrol and van hire isn't fucking cheap these days and fucking hell, the bands could 'earn' more money sitting at home shit talking on message boards. But no, they are coming from Norway, England even mother fucking DUNDEE to entertain you. You don't think that is worth 5 then fine, come down and tell me why. If you have one good reason I WILL PAY YOUR FIVE POUNDS FOR YOU. But seriously now, making a profit off hardcore/emo/punk shows is about as posi as having syphilis.
003 - Come Prepared
That means bring your own water, juice, booze, food, clothes, whatver. There is a take away place across the road and a carry out shop round the corner. Seeing as you will not be spending a shit load of money at the over priced bar you can instead spend it on lots of band merch instead.
004 - Respect the Space
Firstly, DO NOT SMOKE IN THE BAND ROOM, I will fucking stub the cig out in their eye if I catch anyone at it. It is not good for the venue and it is not good for the vocalists. Secondly, My mum isn't coming down to clean up afterwards so keep the place fucking tidy. Use the bins & ash trays provided... We catch you making a mess, Elrek will throw you in the Clyde. He will, he is fucking mental.
005 - Respect other People
Two things... there is ONE toilet, so gentlemen, that means you are not allowed to piss all over the seat. The ladies will be using the same bathroom so lift the fucking toilet seat when you are pissing and put it down when you are done. No I am not joking, show a bit of common courtesy and have some fucking manners please. Other thing, and quite possibly the most crucial thing... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE bring the circle pits, the pile ons, walls of death and all round insanity... but please forget the kick boxing and windmilling. It doesn't impress anyone and just makes you look tit. Dance hard and tear it the fuck up but SHOW RESPECT to those not into dancing and leave them the hell alone. Also, leave the equipment alone, think it is posi to dive off a cab? GO FOR IT! Because straight afterwards you will be going outside getting some SLC style pool balls in a sock to your face.
666 - No slow, ALL GO!
The bands will be doing short sets so don't fucking stand there and think about dancing for the next song... bring it right from the start. Also, Catena are emo bastards and will bring the rock just as hard... be nice to them and check them out, first person I hear saying "I aint watching those emo faggots" will get fucked in the ass by my patented EMO TRUNCHEON OF JUSTICE. Seriously, it is like three foot long a foot across, you won't like that much"
Taken from here.
"A STEP BY STEP GUIDE TO MAKING A SHOW MORE FUN FOR ALL THE FAMILY! (First published in 1981 by Mr Iam Scene.)
000 - All Ages!
DO bring - mates, children, nieces, nephews, mums and dad. DO NOT bring any bullshit.
001 - 20:00 Kick Off!
Do not turn up earlier than 19:59:59.99 I meant it, I don't care if you have frostbite or if you need to pee or if you are wanting to give me free records. If you choose to turn up early and hang out (READ : GET IN THE DAMN WAY) then that is cool and awesome, but be warned, the cost of admittance will be 50. Also it should be noted that if you turn up later than 20:15 you will miss bands and be a loser and everyone will turn at stare at the person who being late is cool.
002 - Bring a Fiver
You are either playing or you are paying, no exceptions. Think that is over priced? Go cry about it in your live journal. Venue hire is cheap but the bands will be fed and watered and all the cash will go to those entertaining you. Petrol and van hire isn't fucking cheap these days and fucking hell, the bands could 'earn' more money sitting at home shit talking on message boards. But no, they are coming from Norway, England even mother fucking DUNDEE to entertain you. You don't think that is worth 5 then fine, come down and tell me why. If you have one good reason I WILL PAY YOUR FIVE POUNDS FOR YOU. But seriously now, making a profit off hardcore/emo/punk shows is about as posi as having syphilis.
003 - Come Prepared
That means bring your own water, juice, booze, food, clothes, whatver. There is a take away place across the road and a carry out shop round the corner. Seeing as you will not be spending a shit load of money at the over priced bar you can instead spend it on lots of band merch instead.
004 - Respect the Space
Firstly, DO NOT SMOKE IN THE BAND ROOM, I will fucking stub the cig out in their eye if I catch anyone at it. It is not good for the venue and it is not good for the vocalists. Secondly, My mum isn't coming down to clean up afterwards so keep the place fucking tidy. Use the bins & ash trays provided... We catch you making a mess, Elrek will throw you in the Clyde. He will, he is fucking mental.
005 - Respect other People
Two things... there is ONE toilet, so gentlemen, that means you are not allowed to piss all over the seat. The ladies will be using the same bathroom so lift the fucking toilet seat when you are pissing and put it down when you are done. No I am not joking, show a bit of common courtesy and have some fucking manners please. Other thing, and quite possibly the most crucial thing... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE bring the circle pits, the pile ons, walls of death and all round insanity... but please forget the kick boxing and windmilling. It doesn't impress anyone and just makes you look tit. Dance hard and tear it the fuck up but SHOW RESPECT to those not into dancing and leave them the hell alone. Also, leave the equipment alone, think it is posi to dive off a cab? GO FOR IT! Because straight afterwards you will be going outside getting some SLC style pool balls in a sock to your face.
666 - No slow, ALL GO!
The bands will be doing short sets so don't fucking stand there and think about dancing for the next song... bring it right from the start. Also, Catena are emo bastards and will bring the rock just as hard... be nice to them and check them out, first person I hear saying "I aint watching those emo faggots" will get fucked in the ass by my patented EMO TRUNCHEON OF JUSTICE. Seriously, it is like three foot long a foot across, you won't like that much"
Taken from here.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
soulfly:
heheheheheh!!!! 
sludgehead:
WoW is extremely cool, but it is a life killer. Let me know if you decide to join.