walker

Update: July 5th
Feeling a bit better today, but there have been a few times I started to not feel right. I got an appointment set for next week to go see someone.
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I am not me any more. The last little bit of self-esteem and self-confidence I had left is gone. For the last two weeks when I friends have called to go do something I havent been able to go. I want to go, but I cant. Something is keeping me from feeling like I can go. I feel like Im not good enough to be around other people. I feel like the lowest form of life on earth. I first broke down on Saturday when I was supposed to go to a fiends birthday dinner. And the major break down was tonight. Tonight after I had set off some of my fireworks, I just stopped and walked away. I went off and just sat on the lawn. My mom came over after a bit and just looked at me and knew something was wrong, Having your mom ask if you fell like killing your self and if you need to go the hospital is not something you want to hear. I wish I knew what was wrong with me.

Sorry for the lack of paragraphs.