I pretty sure my head...or my heart, is going to explode. so there's this girl, who i've had a schoolboy crush on for about six years. no biggie, i've had crushes before... not for this long, but had em. i had come to grips that it would always be just that, a crush. until august of this year. i went to portland to visit friends and family after i joined the navy. this crush happened to be leaving for mexico 8hrs after i got in town. we've been great friends for a long time so we both wanted to see each other. she came over to my parents house and we talked all night... no big deal, or so i thought. this was the first time we really saw each other in a different light. 98% of the time this certain crush had a boyfriend... but not this time. we talked and laughed and flirted and it just seemed like everything was going perfectly. when she left my house at about 5am things were up in the air. i held her before she left, like i never had before. she looked in my eyes, like she never had before. i saw the moment open up, i had to kiss her, my one and only shot... and bitched out. when she left apparently she felt what i did because she drove apparently quite emotional. crying on the way home she wrecked and almost missed her flight. after i left portland to come back to tn she got back to portland, we started talking everyday, everynight, and sometimes both. it seemed things were right for once. from august until oct everything was perfect, she even bought a plane ticket to come see me. and then something happened, the calls were less frequent. the texts unanswered, the perfection losing its light. then about a week ago i got a call. she had a new boyfriend. for about the month and a half we didnt talk. so now im sitting here...on my couch... about to go to bed... because shes asleep in mine. im going crazy... all the things i want to say that were never said, all the moments flashing by that i missed............................................................................................................................................................. ................................................... i feel lost. i dont know what the fuck to do. i cant force myself to say anything because she has a boyfriend now... i guess its the downfall to being a "nice guy".... what the hell. i dont know what else to write, what else to do or say. what else.....
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you should make a move b4 she is gone.
if you comment back do it on my blog so i can see when you do.
im just saying she doesnt have to be there and the fact that she is is a big deal even if she got the ticket before she had a bf. she hasnt been with this guy long and you guys have history.
if she says she isnt into you at least you will no.