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voltavotary

Phoenix

Member Since 2004

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Wednesday Apr 27, 2005

Apr 27, 2005
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jeez, i think im just gonna dye my hair black again. the red just doesnt stay, and when it doesnt stay, it starts to get too light and dull and ugly-lookin. i like black hair... i like red hair too...

im going on vacation in like 8 days! the mr. and i are goin to california for disneyland and san diego zoo and the beach and such. we'll be gone for like 9 days in cali, and then we'll come back and relax at home for a couple days before work resumes. smile

been thinkin about changin jobs. ive been at the current one for 2.5 years now, and its gotten me a lot of stuff... but i think its time to leave, for many reasons... one inpaticular that should have made me leave a long time ago.

this thought just popped into my mind: all my life ive felt like i dont feel things deep enough, like im shallow, but not in the "i wont talk to ugly people" way or whateva ya know? like my emotions are a bit superficial, like they're being blocked by a very solid brick wall over my "soul", and try as they may, they cant get past it in order to fully penetrate and imbed themselves. sometimes they may fool me into believing that they have succeeded, but then i step back and think, "well that was just too easy. theres no way that this is an actual true emotion or feeling, not like how others feel" and then it kind of fades or disolves. is it because im a libra? i dont know if any of that makes any sense to anyone, but like i said, it just popped into my head, and when that happens i feel i have to ramble quickly in order to get it all out before i forget it... which forgetting something that seems so important in the moment also seems like a sign suggesting that i dont truly feel... maybe this is how mostly everyone feels or has felt, maybe not, i dont know... but anywho

i want more tattoos
and i think im off to the store to buy black hair dye
kiss
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
mike_hawk:
god i hope so... i have jumped threw hoops then i can think off... i feel like a tool... more or less whats been shaken...
May 2, 2005
mike_hawk:
and the black hair looks good... people often make themselves have emotions becuase they feel they should have them emotions (if that makes any sence)not becuase they acually have them... the fake ones are the ones you are over in a week the real ones stick around... i am sleep deprived and kinda drunk so take from that what you can
talk to you later doll\
~mike
May 2, 2005

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