Okay, we'll se how far I get today.....
12.12.02
Ihaven't written a journal entry on paper in a couple of months now. Yesterday I rented the worst motel room ever on Ventura Blvd. The Charles motel. The room was filthy. I would've had to take a shower with shoes on. There were 3 crack baggies in the bathroom, the sheets on the bed were filthy, and under the bed was someone's well used crack pipe. I ended up not even sleeping there for fear of rolling over on a dirty needle in the middle of the night. It was really gross. It was a waste of $40. I ended up at another motel down the street, which looked spotless in comparisson. I watched some TV , fed my cat, and went to sleep.
I woke up this morning, not wanting to go through the new Recycler, which came out today, but I did anyway, and called a bunch of places to make appointments to look at apartments. 3 hours later, I called them all back and cancelled, because I got the place I'd wanted in the first place. YAY! I don't get to move in till Jan. 1st, but that's OK..........
I guess I'll be homeless for a while... It doesn't matter, it wouldn't be the first time I've been homeless over the holidays......
12.14.02
I really miss not having a kitchen. I want to make pot roast. Yum... I guess that's not going to be very easy, because I gave all my kitchen stuff To my room mate Josh in portland. There just wasn't room for it, and I figured it was replaceable. Now I really wish i had all that stuff....Oh well at least josh has some decent cookware now..........
I'm already really sick of not working, but I'm really glad I'm not dancing in Oregon anymore. not that it's any different from here, I'm sure. Doc's started to get really shitty before I left. They hired a new booker, and he started selling cocaine to all the girls. It was really kind of tragic, because all of the cool girls turned into strung out cunts. I even lost my two best friends at Doc's to cocaine. I really miss them. Wer'e not friends anymore, because I realized that I was starting to get hooked on that shit, and stopped doing it with them. Then they started doing it behind my back, and they started changing.on my last night there I told them that they were stung out, and that they were changing. I didn't want to rag on them, but someone had to say something, because they were doing about a gram every day. I had to tell them. We're not friends anymore, because I told them. They still won't talk to me. I miss them but I CANNOT be strung out, it just really goes against my style.........
This morning when I went to get my tea, I thought about hoe very individual every human being is, even if they appear to be "just like everyone else". The counter culture loves to hate the establishment, But I don't really think they hate it. I think they secretly love it, because if it didn't exist, they'd have nothing to rebel against. If I decided to hate "normal" people that would make me just as bad as the "normal" people that treat me like shit every day......
People are only people. People are not black and white. Every single person is a different shade of gray; somewhere in between the two exteremes. Who wants to be extereme anyway? "Extreme" is predictable. Predictable= borring.........
12.16.02
So now I'm in Costa Mesa. I'm entering an amateur contest tonight. I'm kinda nervous because I hate competitions, and I have no idea how my look is going to go over. At least I'll have a little time to get a look at the stage, and the clientele, and build my performance accordingly..........
12.17.02
I didn't win the contest last night, but I guess I still won anyway. The whole room booed when I didn't even place. So I guess I got the peoples choice award. The manager at that place was an asshole anyway. I'd probably have to fuck him to get a job there. Fuck that shit... The only god looking girls atb that club were the black girls and OH MY GOD THEY WERE HOT!!!!
It was really good to dance again though, I haven't danced in 3 weeks. I love performing. When I was a kid, I used to daydream about running away and joining the circus...I still daydream about it sometimes... I'm looking for a tattooist that enjoys doing black work, and isn't a jerk. I'm thinking about Freewind over at blackwave. I just read an article about him in a tattoo mag. Ijust don't want to spend A year and a half (or more) in some jackasses chair being miserable............
12.18.02
Only 13 days till I move Into my new place. I'm still in Costa Mesa. Don't ever drink the water here. It's worse than the water in LA. I made darjeeling tea with it, and my tea was ruined. If you really like tea, then you know what I'm talking about. I love tea so much, you'd swear I was British...........
12.19.02
I auditioned at a club called Mr J's last night. It was the first time I'd ever auditioned in a separate room for the manager only. It was weird. I felt really odd, because there was no one to perform for. It was probablt the worst audition Iv'e ever done. I got hired and requested day shifts. I didn't want nights, because there's only one stage, and they run 40 chicks at night. I don't want to have to hustle so hard. I don't know what it is about strip clubs in orange county, the girls there are narly hutlers. Worse than girls at Exotica or the Dolphin in Portland... It's time to change my haircolor again. not just another shade of blue or another bleach job on the roots. It's time to really change my hair. I'm thinking purple or burgundy. Or, maybe I'll justcut all of my hair off. I just know it's time for a change. I know i moved, and that's a change, but i still feel restless. There's something else out there, right around the corner, I can feel it. I'm keeping my eyes peeled............
Okay you guys, that's it for insallment #1. I'm already sick of typing.
I'm auditioning at seventh veil tonight wish me luck......take it easy.
xoxoxoxoxox-love- Voltaire
1. If you could be a car crash what would you be?
I would be a stolen police car smashed to bits in the side of a building; wreckage filling a space of at least 50 feet...
2.If you could Have any terminal illness which would you pick? I'd pick dimentia...
3.Which would you pick: burial or cremation? Who cares? I'm dead.....
12.12.02
Ihaven't written a journal entry on paper in a couple of months now. Yesterday I rented the worst motel room ever on Ventura Blvd. The Charles motel. The room was filthy. I would've had to take a shower with shoes on. There were 3 crack baggies in the bathroom, the sheets on the bed were filthy, and under the bed was someone's well used crack pipe. I ended up not even sleeping there for fear of rolling over on a dirty needle in the middle of the night. It was really gross. It was a waste of $40. I ended up at another motel down the street, which looked spotless in comparisson. I watched some TV , fed my cat, and went to sleep.
I woke up this morning, not wanting to go through the new Recycler, which came out today, but I did anyway, and called a bunch of places to make appointments to look at apartments. 3 hours later, I called them all back and cancelled, because I got the place I'd wanted in the first place. YAY! I don't get to move in till Jan. 1st, but that's OK..........
I guess I'll be homeless for a while... It doesn't matter, it wouldn't be the first time I've been homeless over the holidays......
12.14.02
I really miss not having a kitchen. I want to make pot roast. Yum... I guess that's not going to be very easy, because I gave all my kitchen stuff To my room mate Josh in portland. There just wasn't room for it, and I figured it was replaceable. Now I really wish i had all that stuff....Oh well at least josh has some decent cookware now..........
I'm already really sick of not working, but I'm really glad I'm not dancing in Oregon anymore. not that it's any different from here, I'm sure. Doc's started to get really shitty before I left. They hired a new booker, and he started selling cocaine to all the girls. It was really kind of tragic, because all of the cool girls turned into strung out cunts. I even lost my two best friends at Doc's to cocaine. I really miss them. Wer'e not friends anymore, because I realized that I was starting to get hooked on that shit, and stopped doing it with them. Then they started doing it behind my back, and they started changing.on my last night there I told them that they were stung out, and that they were changing. I didn't want to rag on them, but someone had to say something, because they were doing about a gram every day. I had to tell them. We're not friends anymore, because I told them. They still won't talk to me. I miss them but I CANNOT be strung out, it just really goes against my style.........
This morning when I went to get my tea, I thought about hoe very individual every human being is, even if they appear to be "just like everyone else". The counter culture loves to hate the establishment, But I don't really think they hate it. I think they secretly love it, because if it didn't exist, they'd have nothing to rebel against. If I decided to hate "normal" people that would make me just as bad as the "normal" people that treat me like shit every day......
People are only people. People are not black and white. Every single person is a different shade of gray; somewhere in between the two exteremes. Who wants to be extereme anyway? "Extreme" is predictable. Predictable= borring.........
12.16.02
So now I'm in Costa Mesa. I'm entering an amateur contest tonight. I'm kinda nervous because I hate competitions, and I have no idea how my look is going to go over. At least I'll have a little time to get a look at the stage, and the clientele, and build my performance accordingly..........
12.17.02
I didn't win the contest last night, but I guess I still won anyway. The whole room booed when I didn't even place. So I guess I got the peoples choice award. The manager at that place was an asshole anyway. I'd probably have to fuck him to get a job there. Fuck that shit... The only god looking girls atb that club were the black girls and OH MY GOD THEY WERE HOT!!!!
It was really good to dance again though, I haven't danced in 3 weeks. I love performing. When I was a kid, I used to daydream about running away and joining the circus...I still daydream about it sometimes... I'm looking for a tattooist that enjoys doing black work, and isn't a jerk. I'm thinking about Freewind over at blackwave. I just read an article about him in a tattoo mag. Ijust don't want to spend A year and a half (or more) in some jackasses chair being miserable............
12.18.02
Only 13 days till I move Into my new place. I'm still in Costa Mesa. Don't ever drink the water here. It's worse than the water in LA. I made darjeeling tea with it, and my tea was ruined. If you really like tea, then you know what I'm talking about. I love tea so much, you'd swear I was British...........
12.19.02
I auditioned at a club called Mr J's last night. It was the first time I'd ever auditioned in a separate room for the manager only. It was weird. I felt really odd, because there was no one to perform for. It was probablt the worst audition Iv'e ever done. I got hired and requested day shifts. I didn't want nights, because there's only one stage, and they run 40 chicks at night. I don't want to have to hustle so hard. I don't know what it is about strip clubs in orange county, the girls there are narly hutlers. Worse than girls at Exotica or the Dolphin in Portland... It's time to change my haircolor again. not just another shade of blue or another bleach job on the roots. It's time to really change my hair. I'm thinking purple or burgundy. Or, maybe I'll justcut all of my hair off. I just know it's time for a change. I know i moved, and that's a change, but i still feel restless. There's something else out there, right around the corner, I can feel it. I'm keeping my eyes peeled............
Okay you guys, that's it for insallment #1. I'm already sick of typing.
I'm auditioning at seventh veil tonight wish me luck......take it easy.
xoxoxoxoxox-love- Voltaire
1. If you could be a car crash what would you be?
I would be a stolen police car smashed to bits in the side of a building; wreckage filling a space of at least 50 feet...
2.If you could Have any terminal illness which would you pick? I'd pick dimentia...
3.Which would you pick: burial or cremation? Who cares? I'm dead.....
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
1. a pink corvette smashed in with a polished black jeep, face to face.
2. I can't say I'd pick one.
3. Uhh... i'm going to own a big above ground tomb where there will be adequate amounts of sunlight and entertainment for my post-kinetic years.
1- the failed seatbelt
2-Love
3-fed to the alligators