voltaire

Yesterday I had a nervous break down. Today I feel a little more stable. I'm supposed to go to LA in another week or so, but I can't get excited about it, because I know I have to come back to this hell hole called Oregon. My roomate Josh won't tell me where the suicide bridge is in southwest portland. I'm still depressed, but not as bad as yesterday. Yesterday, all I did was cry. I haven't eaten in four days. I have no appetite, and the food has no flavor. I had to work last night, so I got to forget how miserable my real life is for about five hours. I'm sorry I don't have much to say that's positive, but i'm sick and tired of pretending that my life is trauma free, because it's not, and when I pretend that nothing's wrong, it's like bieng at work 24/7. and that's not fun either.
There's a new person that I'm having take me to work. her husband is an energy healer. I met him last night. Usually I'm pretty skeptical about that stuff, but this guy is for real. I can't stand people that "practice magic' that have to tell everyone and thier dog about it. It just tells me that they're Totally full of shit. If some one REALLY practiced magic they wouldn't have to tell everyone in an attempt to impress them.There's a girl up the street from me that does that. She's really lame. anyway, This guy worked on my wrist for about five minutes, and today it's alot better. I'm getting a massage tomorrow, and I'm kinda worried about it, because i'm not sure I'm drinking enough water, and thats really important.
I'm performing at a goth club called the backroom on october 11th. I'm going to be wearing the cotume I was supposed to wear at Dante's. If you'd like to go, you are more than welcome, just show up properly attired, or they won't let you in. The costume is gorgeous. It's seven pieces, Including an antique industrial looking corset. Tomorrow is the first rehearsal.
the guy that works here wants to go home, so I'm outa here.
xoxoxoxox- Voltaire