last night someone that's not even a member came in to Doc's, and told me to update my journal. so here I am. I was going to go on strike, and not write any journals, but there's no point in that, since the site isn't responsible for my confusion, frustration and anger, extreme anger.
I will never perform at Dante's ever again. I don't care how much they're paying. I know I told spooky that i'd perform at the next SG night, and I was actually excited about it, because it's going to be filmed for television, but I really feel that this would be compromising myself, and i think i would have alot less respect for myself if I did. In all honesty I don't think I could even give a decent performance, considering how pissed off I'd be as soon as I saw the soundguy/frank's monkey.
My whole life is up in the air. The anniversary party bullshit was only the beginning of the chaos. I'm really confused, and I don't know what to do. I got my periodwhich is one of the only good things going on in my life, because it was six weeks late, and I actually thought I might be knocked up.But I'm not and that's really, really cool.
I guess all in all I'm still really depressed. I have been for over a month now. I'm getting better at dealing with it. Or maybe I'm just totally apathetic. One or the other. It doesn't matter.
It sucks that SGLA didn't get to see me dance, or even hang out with me at the party, but then again, it doesn't matter. I think they were the only ones that cared anyway. Oh well, I'l be down there permanently in another month or so.
I hate Oregon sooooooooooooooo much. I'm miserable here. I finally got the Oregon disease. The Oregon disease being that perpetual cold that never goes away. I want to burn this place to the ground when I move out of it. Iv'e had this cold for almost two weks now.
The rain returned yesterday, and it was so cold last night, that one of my rings snapped last night in my sleep. It's cold today too.....cold like most of the people in this town..... maybe I shouldn't go that far.
In case you couldn't tell, I've been under an incredible ammount of stess lately. So much that I'm developing psoriasis. It sucks. I hate it.
I feel hollow and empty. Used up and spent. Exausted.Some day I'll get a vacation, but not any time soon.
There's a small child whinnig in the cafe, and I have the urge to throw my coffee cup at it. I hate children. I swear to god, If I did get pregnant, and carry to term, I'd eat it alive at birth. OK, not really, I'd probably give it up for adoption.
I hope everyone is doing better than i am. take it easy.xoxoxoxoxoxox-Voltaire
I will never perform at Dante's ever again. I don't care how much they're paying. I know I told spooky that i'd perform at the next SG night, and I was actually excited about it, because it's going to be filmed for television, but I really feel that this would be compromising myself, and i think i would have alot less respect for myself if I did. In all honesty I don't think I could even give a decent performance, considering how pissed off I'd be as soon as I saw the soundguy/frank's monkey.
My whole life is up in the air. The anniversary party bullshit was only the beginning of the chaos. I'm really confused, and I don't know what to do. I got my periodwhich is one of the only good things going on in my life, because it was six weeks late, and I actually thought I might be knocked up.But I'm not and that's really, really cool.
I guess all in all I'm still really depressed. I have been for over a month now. I'm getting better at dealing with it. Or maybe I'm just totally apathetic. One or the other. It doesn't matter.
It sucks that SGLA didn't get to see me dance, or even hang out with me at the party, but then again, it doesn't matter. I think they were the only ones that cared anyway. Oh well, I'l be down there permanently in another month or so.
I hate Oregon sooooooooooooooo much. I'm miserable here. I finally got the Oregon disease. The Oregon disease being that perpetual cold that never goes away. I want to burn this place to the ground when I move out of it. Iv'e had this cold for almost two weks now.
The rain returned yesterday, and it was so cold last night, that one of my rings snapped last night in my sleep. It's cold today too.....cold like most of the people in this town..... maybe I shouldn't go that far.
In case you couldn't tell, I've been under an incredible ammount of stess lately. So much that I'm developing psoriasis. It sucks. I hate it.
I feel hollow and empty. Used up and spent. Exausted.Some day I'll get a vacation, but not any time soon.
There's a small child whinnig in the cafe, and I have the urge to throw my coffee cup at it. I hate children. I swear to god, If I did get pregnant, and carry to term, I'd eat it alive at birth. OK, not really, I'd probably give it up for adoption.
I hope everyone is doing better than i am. take it easy.xoxoxoxoxoxox-Voltaire
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
alice:
i was looking forward to seeing you perform at the party, since everyone says that you're an amazing dancer.... but soon enough you will be down here in la with us, away from the rain and in company of us crazy people, and i will get to see you dance.... once i turn 21, that is.
sammaelhain23:
speaking of cooking children: http://www.geocities.com/rennata/cookchld.html