New Years was half and half fun...
I spent it with two good friends, they tried cheering me up all night, I accidently drank an entire Fifth of Coconut Rum...asked later where the Rum had gone, and was unphased...seriously...I was so not drunk...WTF?
All in all it was a good time, a few rough patches, but a decent way for me to bring in the new year. All I can hope and pray for is that since my last week of 2006 was the worst week I can recall having, that it bodes well for the New Year and 2007 will bring joyous things.
So He hasn't changed his mind yet. He has been talking to me like normal, but only on a friends basis, he says it was too much thinking alone and a lack of feelings for me...but that may change, who knows?
All I know is one day I am absolutely fine without him, I'm ok with it all, and then the next day I'm nearly in tears because it hurts to be without him.
Sadly we weren't going out, just dating...so I have no idea where this strong emotionality comes from, I mean I seriously don't think I was ever attached to anyone this quickly ever...not even to my best friend whom for years I was convinced I was in love with even though he was with someone else...I didn't get attached to him like this...so I'm not sure if it means I need help in some way shape or form, or if he is truly to be this significant in my life...I don't know.
All I want is to stop the hurting and just be ok with it.
I don't have time for these games.
Unfortunately I know he is under a lot of stress, I'm hoping that perhaps something will change....change back, or change into a real relationship...or I hope to be rid of my feelings for him. I have no time or use to be pinning over some silly boy who doesn't want me.
I also want to stop watching movies and tv shows where people go through things and then get together or back together and are happy, stay together, have kids, and then cry my eyes out because I feel like I willl never have those things. Kind of a bad way to feel...but I've felt this way for a while...years actually...grr
Still didn't keep me from falling for someone and getting hurt...*sighs* I'll never learn lol
So I have high hopes for this New Year...high indeed. I move back into my dorm Wednesday, I start class Friday, and some sense of normalcy can return, and perhaps some other things. The past few days have been so full of self-revelations...now if only they did any good to anyone besides me...>_<
Here's to hoping that 2007 becomes a wonderful wonderful year, full of promise, happiness, prosperity, luck, and success in many many things!!
love you all, thank you so much for all the support so far
P.S. I am doing much better about my Grandfather...thank you all
I spent it with two good friends, they tried cheering me up all night, I accidently drank an entire Fifth of Coconut Rum...asked later where the Rum had gone, and was unphased...seriously...I was so not drunk...WTF?
All in all it was a good time, a few rough patches, but a decent way for me to bring in the new year. All I can hope and pray for is that since my last week of 2006 was the worst week I can recall having, that it bodes well for the New Year and 2007 will bring joyous things.
So He hasn't changed his mind yet. He has been talking to me like normal, but only on a friends basis, he says it was too much thinking alone and a lack of feelings for me...but that may change, who knows?
All I know is one day I am absolutely fine without him, I'm ok with it all, and then the next day I'm nearly in tears because it hurts to be without him.
Sadly we weren't going out, just dating...so I have no idea where this strong emotionality comes from, I mean I seriously don't think I was ever attached to anyone this quickly ever...not even to my best friend whom for years I was convinced I was in love with even though he was with someone else...I didn't get attached to him like this...so I'm not sure if it means I need help in some way shape or form, or if he is truly to be this significant in my life...I don't know.
All I want is to stop the hurting and just be ok with it.
I don't have time for these games.
Unfortunately I know he is under a lot of stress, I'm hoping that perhaps something will change....change back, or change into a real relationship...or I hope to be rid of my feelings for him. I have no time or use to be pinning over some silly boy who doesn't want me.
I also want to stop watching movies and tv shows where people go through things and then get together or back together and are happy, stay together, have kids, and then cry my eyes out because I feel like I willl never have those things. Kind of a bad way to feel...but I've felt this way for a while...years actually...grr
Still didn't keep me from falling for someone and getting hurt...*sighs* I'll never learn lol
So I have high hopes for this New Year...high indeed. I move back into my dorm Wednesday, I start class Friday, and some sense of normalcy can return, and perhaps some other things. The past few days have been so full of self-revelations...now if only they did any good to anyone besides me...>_<
Here's to hoping that 2007 becomes a wonderful wonderful year, full of promise, happiness, prosperity, luck, and success in many many things!!
love you all, thank you so much for all the support so far
P.S. I am doing much better about my Grandfather...thank you all
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
Sounds to me like we need to get you to some of the SGNC parties so you can hang out with a crew of people that'll love and care for you more than this guy did. Sorry to say it, but it seems like a fairly heartless thing to do to you when you're already having a really crappy week.
Well, I hope 2007 is starting better for you. I'll be sending you some good thoughts.
Lots of love.