Hey there, peeps. Long time. I was suffering through a long downturn, some days even preventing me from getting out of bed. But I’m doing better now. For now. Meds I was taking for my psoriasis really screwed with my mental health for two weeks. Luckily it has a really short half-life, so when I stopped taking it, I only had to wait 48 hours...
Read More

felicity:
It's good to know you're feeling better :)

COSMOS: WAR OF THE PLANETS, 1977 color
The intro alone will make you hate this movie. Long and random scenes of a spaceship doing “space things”, but nothing that furthers a plot. And it is so chopped up it looks like film clips inserted in random orders from the floor of the rejects. They all wear these ridiculous fabric skull caps. Signals from outer space...
Read More

COLOSSUS AND THE AMAZON QUEEN, 1960 color
Colossus, better known as Glauco, is apparently a very strong guy, as he proves by winning a bare-knuckle brawl contest, Greek style, set to some cool, swinging 60’s jazz. Then a bar brawl, with cool, swinging 60’s jazz music. Like, far out man. Glauco gets kidnapped, with the help of his friend Pirro (thanks loads Pirro!) and is...
Read More

THE PHANTOM PLANET, 1961 B&W
Spaceship is damaged by a meteor that suddenly appears in front of them. Astronaut Chapman is drawn toward an asteroid and lands. Stepping onto the surface he passes out. When he comes to he is faces with very tiny humans, a few inches tall. Lilliputian, one might say. And better yet, when his helmet gets accidentally opened, he shrinks to...
Read More

Not sure if these aren't as amusing, or I'm just not in a funny mood. Anyway...

THEY CAME FROM BEYOND SPACE, 1967 color
Groovy soundtrack starts us off. A group of 7 meteorites land in a V formation on Earth, apparently from the Moon. When scientists strike a meteor, something takes control of the scientific group. All except for one, Temple, who has a silver...
Read More

Today’s movies are brought to you by the letter ‘W’, for Women.

THE WILD WOMEN OF WONGO, 1958 color (Pathecolor, specifically)
As the song goes, If loving you is Wongo, I don’t want to be Wrighto. Or something like that. Apparently Mother Nature and Father Time tried an experiment, then blamed the resulting mess on the Wild Women of Wongo. Seriously, opening lines. So here’s...
Read More

Been sick for a while so I got behind on the reviews.

BLOOD TIDE, 1982 color (though mostly really dark nights)
Going by the title, I’m guessing lots of people die in the ocean. Let’s see, stupid American couple looking for guy’s sister, Madelaine (who’s become a bit loony), find her working with an American “archaeologist”, Frye (James Earl Jones! Ahhh, that voice….). As in,...
Read More

SNOWBEAST, 1977 color
Watch out Colorado! Some sort of beast that likes snow has come to town! As anticipated, there is lots of 70’s music and slow-motion skiing montages. Lots of interpersonal drama. Carnival at a ski lodge. So much fun, until the bodies start piling up. Jennifer is apparently torn apart by the creature, leaving searchers to find only her skis and parts of...
Read More

THE ASTRAL FACTOR, 1976 color
We start at the California State Hospital for the Criminally Insane, so we know this isn’t going to go well for somebody. Inmate Roger turns himself invisible (by just concentrating?) and escapes. Then he goes to his mother’s gravestone and has a fight with her? Even though she’s dead. He starts stalking women and strangling them. Creepy…he calls each one...
Read More

FIRST SPACESHIP ON VENUS, 1960 color
Rock found in Gobi Desert shows that the Tunguska Blast was really a spaceship from Venus that crashed, leaving behind a data record. We have a lunar base, but have never gone to investigate Venus. Seems an oversight. So Earth sends a spaceship to Venus. On the way they face the dangers of a meteor swarm…oh wait, never mind,...
Read More

THE SONS OF HERCULES
Or
SON OF HERCULES: THE LAND OF DARKNESS
Or
HERCULES THE INVINCIBLE, 1963, color
Apparently they could not decide on the title, nor even if it was Hercules or his son Argolese. But they are certain it was in The Land of Darkness! Dun dun dun dunnnnnn.
Hercul…Argolese saves Telca from a lion attack. Turns out she is the King’s daughter,...
Read More
WHITE PONGO, 1954 B&W
What is White Pong? Why is it white? And what other colors does Pongo come in? None of these questions will be answered to anyone’s satisfaction, is can guarantee, but let’s roll the footage anyway.
Wow, looks like we actually answered one question, the White Pongo is a white gorilla that is the missing link. So…Pongo means…gorilla? Anyway, we organize an...
Read More