volatile

So its been a rough few days. I haven't written about it yet because I didn't really know what to write...

Friday night I went out and got wasted... Straight wasted... I ended up drinking with my friend Dan outside in the Hammock while it was raining. It was fun. I ended up passing out over there and when I woke up I had like 12 missed calls from my brother and my mother. I checked my voicemail and they left me the worst voicemail possible. I still wish they would have waited to tell me in person. My grandma died early Saturday morning. While I was getting drunk, she was dying. I knew she was sick, I should have spent more time with her before she died. I still don't know why it was so hard for me to just fucking call and check on her. The last time I did see her though, I had a feeling it would be the last time. I hugged her and kissed her and told her I loved her. I didn't know what else to say.... I don't know what I would say to her now if I had the chance to say a few final words.

The funeral was today, the viewing was last night. It has been really tough for me and my brothers. All her children died young and we are her only grandkids so she kinda spoiled us. She was such an amazing and spunky woman and I am going to miss her so much.

I still haven't cried yet though. I want to, I feel the need to cry, but I can't physically cry. I guess I'm just that hardcore. haha. But still, I figure its because it hasn't fully hit me yet. It will soon.

So yea, I also started school. My teachers are crazy. I missed the first day of my 2 art classes today because of the funeral. I am excited about my non western art history class. I wanna see what its all about.
Here's what I'm taking:

Expository Writing
Principles Of Biology
General Psychology
Non Western Art History
Design 1

16 Hours.. whooo.........

Well, I'm pretty drained right now, so I'm going to go get some sleep. G'Night!!