vladdic

I've made an executive.. life changing decision: every conversation I have with a half-way decent looking girl (or above), will include at least one demand upon her to service my genitials.

Be prepared half-way decent (and above) looking girls everywhere. You've been warned.

I fucking hate urinal politics. So you are in a public restroom, taking a piss, and there are no dividers between the urinals. Why the fuck does everyone have to make a goddamned show of whipping out their dick, yet NOT exposing to where all the other people who HAVE DICKS can possible get a glimpse of it? Hate to tell you partner, but yours...
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I'm bored. So I think I will eradicate this horrid boredom by listing some of the crazy shit I've done while drunk. Feel honored.

Things I've swallowed: cockroach, razor blade (drug/box cutter style), earthworm, my former next door neighbor's guppy and goldfish (she was a bitch and never cleaned their fish bowl, they are in a better place now), a double shot of golden grain,...
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Mean things I've done to Raquel's roommate, as of yet:

1) We were on Aubri's computer when some dude IMs her. I said it wasn't Aubri, and that we were just using the comp for a minute. His response: "I don't understand." How fucking hard is it to understand that Aubri isn't here. I inform him of how moronic he is, then sign off. Turns...
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Day #1 of my straight edge week... I'm bored enough to actually type up all the crazy shit that led up to this straight edge pact that Knifefight, me, and a few of my other friends signed.

This is going to be a long entry, I might do it in parts. I've had a crazy last couple of days. We'll start with two nights ago,...
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Duurr.. crazy weekend in stuff will go here, deleted last entry due to excessive assholesk comments... that Scop SAID would be fine.. but was WRONG. You here that motherfucker, how does it feel to be WRONG?!?

Well, last nights party was so good that my roommate doesn't want to sign another lease with me. Oh well, fuck her.

All kidding aside, last night was pretty fucking badass, minus deckwreck losing his phone. We hopped the fence to the neighborhood pool and went skinny dipping, drank ENTIRELY too much (We killed a 1.75 of jager, 3 cases of beer, half a 1.75...
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Tonight is going to rock. Its my neighbor's going away party, and it will be completely awesome.. or my name isn't Paul "mothafuckin'" Pattillo, bitches.

Iia ma so DRUNK! D-R-N-K!

What do the five following items have in common: a straight razor blade (box cutter style), a goldfish, a guppie, a worm, and a cockroach? If you answered things that Paul has swallowed while drunk, you are correct! We even got the cockroach on video.

If you've read deckwreck's journal, you probably recognize the following story. Deck, my buddy Ronnie, me and a few others...
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Oh fuck.. I'm soo drunk. Fucking A mate. David Bowie rocks. Umm.. I came within an inch of my life of getting killed last night.. that makes sense... fuck.. no it kinda doesn't.. durr.. I correct later.. actually I probably won't... fuck you I rule.

Duur... my buddy Ronnie and I were parttyinnng slast night.. and his X'o doom was there.. and her new boyfriend.....
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Its kinda sad... the only thing I've really enjoyed learning about lately is alcohol. Not bartending or anything like that.. but the true history of alcohol. It really is quite amazing, shit you won't find in any goddamned textbook because of MADD and other organizations witch hunt against this most wonderful genre of beverage. If you to are interested... check out this site. Of course,...
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