visionfromacrash

My roommate and I got into a fight...it was our first "real" one, and it kind of scares me. Its not that we shouted or anything, but at the end, I felt like I'd fucked up the one solid thing I had going. I was an asshole to him during it, and I admit it. I just hope he forgives me. Otherwise, I might be spending a lot more time outside of the dorm than I had planned.

Why must I constantly try and mess up the things that go well for me?

My paper is turning out to be a tougher beast than I had planned, but I have tonight and Wednesday to work on it.

I think that this needs to be said, in order for me to feel comfortable with the people in my life.

I don't feel very connected at all-to friends, family, groups, etc. I feel as if I'm a person who's seperate from the crowd, and it makes me uncomfortable with myself. So, if you find me being extra quiet, that is normally the reason. Then again, I'll come out and say that I fake happiness, so that you guys don't worry. Its amazing, how easily one can put on a smile if you practice at it real hard. I'm sorry for doing things like this, but its the only way I know how to function.

Sometimes it makes me sick to my stomach.

There are things I want to do, that I'm incapable of doing because of promises, and things I want to say, though I often find my self lacking articulation for those important phrases. Forgive me.

Waiting for the sun to set my wings ablaze.
The show must go on.
The funeral needs a star.
Tonight I have become the gossip and the choir.

The useless and the used.
The one who reaches for her arms.
I am denial.