Alrighty now.
Since this is my 1st raging rant, I'll give you a disclaimer so you know what to expect from here on out.
**WARNING!! The opinions expressed herein are of a volatile manner and may offend you. It is not the direct intent of this person to offend anybody with the following, but is rather an angry and expressive form of aggression toward the subject at hand. You have been warned!!**
Now that that's outta the way.
So, lemme start this off by going back to when I was a kid. Somewhere between the age of 8 and 10, I got into Legos. Not religiously...not to the point that I would ask for them for Xmas or my birthday...not to the point that I had a few sets and played w/ them all day making tons of stuff. I just really liked the idea of Legos and the creativity one could have with them. An on and off friend of mine from elementary school was way more into them than I was, and whenever we'd go over to his house, we'd always play with some of the many sets he had.
Fast forward to high school. I take a Drafting class, learn Auto CAD and instantly realize that one of my main aspirations in life is to be a career engineer. The Lego concept -- along with my love for Lincoln Logs (I'm really showing my age here now, aren't I?) when I was introduced to them around the age of 4 --more than likely played a big part in building this love for structural and mechanical/internal creative processes.
Fast forward to somewhere around the year 2005 or 2006. Lego, after having seemingly taken some time off from the mainstream focus comes ROOOOOARING back into popularity. Lego this. Lego that. Lego every other thing. Lego your fucking mom. HERE is where I start to get super pissed. While I understand that Lego feels the need to stretch its "business prowess" aka financial &marketing dick, and try to make their already historic name even bigger...I have a VERY huge problem with their style of infesting things that are already well-established entities. There was a group of people that did that back in the 40's. You know what they were called? Goddamn Nazis!! And they tried to take over the world!!
The Rockband games. There's a Lego version.
Indiana Jones. There's Lego sets.
Fucking Star Wars. There's fucking Star Wars Lego shit!!
Comics. Yup.
You see where I'm going?
It's a never ending shitfest of epic proportions as seen below...
And now...NOOOWWW...they even have a whole fucking feature length movie?!!! And not only that, but they COMPLETELY, TOTALLY and 1,000,000% violently penetrated every single stretch of nerd culture that was in that movie. And somehow, they got some pretty huge celebrities to lend their voices and help them do it. DC characters mixing w/ Marvel (Note: I'm 100% fine w/ Batman being fucked with since my hatred for that fuckstick burns w/ the passion and a fire of 1000 of our suns)? Both in the same universe as Star Wars?! And some Joe Schmo action-hero that was supposed to be some fucking savior w/ some cheesy-ass lines?!!!
Un-fucking-acceptable!!
Never in my life have I wanted a movie to bomb more than this. Sadly, it did quite well.
And now, mere moments before I decided to go on a firestorm rant about Lego, somebody has the audacity to suggest that Lego doesn't ruin franchises? BULL. FUCKING. SHIT!!!! To quote Reggie Watts, that is a "Fuck Shit Stack" of filthy lies.
They fucking SHIT all over every goddamn thing they feel the need to invade. Like an ugly prostitute that nobody wants, they slap their dirty, multiple STD-infested cunt across everything in eyesight, trying to get some action and remain relevant. When the truth of the matter, is that not a single person would stop the nasty whore from blowing their retarded brains out.
So to recap. I love the concept of Lego. Great idea. Excellent craftsmanship and inspiration for creativity. But I loathe, despise and hate, from the bottom of my bowels, the company and its unrelenting attitude of infecting perfectly good things like a pack of Emperor Palpatines.
Sorry to any of you Lego-lovers out there, but the company just needs to die and burn in the 387,420,489th (that's 9^9, just FYI) circle of hell.
