TRANSCRIPT OF VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY'S CIVIL, DIGNIFIED PHONE CALL TO CONGRATULATE SENATOR JOHN EDWARDS ON HIS SELECTION TO THE DEMOCRATIC TICKET
Official White House Transcript
[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]
[DIALING TONES]
[PHONE RINGING]
SENATOR EDWARDS: Hello?
THE VICE PRESIDENT: [Muffled] Good morning. [Coughs] I'm calling from the National Association of Homo-Looking Ambulance Chasers. Would you be interested in a complementary subscription to the Sissies With Big Zitty Boils on Their Upper Lips Digest?
SENATOR EDWARDS: I'm afraid not. But thank you very much for the kind offer, and have a great day!
[CLICK]
THE VICE PRESIDENT: [Laughter]
ber-Patriotic Slogans!
Bumper Stickers!
[DIALING TONES]
[PHONE RINGING]
SENATOR EDWARDS: Hello? John Edwards speaking.
THE VICE PRESIDENT: [Falsetto] Hello? This is Mrs. Bertha McGillicuddy calling on behalf of the North Carolina Obese Ugly Democrat Wives Club. May I please speak with anyone to whom you're married who might be confused with Tipper Gore's slightly younger, yet even more fat-assed clone?
SENATOR EDWARDS: Sorry, I can't help you there, ma'am. Good luck finding your party though!
[CLICK]
THE VICE PRESIDENT: [Laughter & Knee Slapping]
[DIALING TONES]
[PHONE RINGING]
SENATOR EDWARDS: Hello? Senator Edwards here.
THE VICE PRESIDENT: [Faux Ebonics] Yo. Mutherfucking Dan Quayle? What up, bitch?
SENATOR EDWARDS: Dan Quayle? I'm afraid you've reached the wrong number.
THE VICE PRESIDENT: Fuck that! Senator Pretty Boy, right? Spell potato for baby-daddy, cracka!
SENATOR EDWARDS: Sorry. I have to go now.
[CLICK]
THE VICE PRESIDENT: [Laughter & Convulsive Snorting]
THE VICE PRESIDENT: [Sighs]
[DIALING TONES]
[PHONE RINGING]
SENATOR EDWARDS: Hello?
THE VICE PRESIDENT: Congratulations.
SENATOR EDWARDS: Mr. Vice President? Is that you?
THE VICE PRESIDENT: Yeah.
SENATOR EDWARDS: Thank you, sir! May I say, first, that I have Caller ID, and second, that I'm looking forward to an honorable campaign in which all Americans can take pride in
[CLICK]
[DIAL TONE]
THE VICE PRESIDENT: [Mumbling] Fucking [unintelligible] Breck Girl cunt [unintelligible] pretty boy asshole [unintelligible] shit [unintelligible] fucker [unintelligible] [unintelligible] [unintelligible] [unintelligible]
[END TRANSCRIPT]
Read these hilarious DUBIYA quotes
BUSH FOLLOWS DEMANDS OF DONORS ON GLOBAL WARMING
In 2000, President Bush promised that, if elected, he would work to
reduce carbon dioxide emissions that contribute to global warming.[1] Yet,
upon taking office, he withdrew American support from the Kyoto Treaty
to regulate carbon dioxide,[2] and he dismissed a report from his own
Environmental Protection Agency pointing out carbon dioxide's critical
role in global warming.[3] Now, with the White House having done nothing
to address the growing problem, elected attorneys from New York City
and eight states filed a lawsuit this week to force five utilities to
reduce carbon dioxide emissions.[4]
Why has President Bush reversed his position on carbon dioxide/global
warming, and why has he refused to confront these energy companies
himself? Because they are among the top donors to Republicans and the
Bush-Cheney campaign.
Among the defendants in the case are:
Southern Company, a company that has given almost a half million
dollars to Republicans congressional candidates[5] since 2000; has given more
than $1.1 million in soft money to the Republican Party;[6] and whose
executives[7] and political action committee[8] have given more than
$79,000 directly to the Bush-Cheney campaign.
American Electric Power Company, a company that has given more than
$550,000 to Republican congressional candidates[9] since 2000 and whose
executives[10] and political action committee[11] have given $24,000 to
the Bush-Cheney campaign.
Cinergy Corporation, a company that has given almost $200,000 to
Republican congressional candidates[12] since 2000; has given more than
$360,000 in soft money to the Republican Party;[13] and whose executives[14]
and political action committee[15] have given more than $27,000 to the
Bush-Cheney campaign.
Sources:
1. "Representative Tom Allen Criticizes Bush Broken Promise on CO2
Emissions from Power Plants," Representative Tom Allen, 03/14/01,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47281.
2. "USA withdraws from Kyoto protocol ," Directorate of Environmental
Affairs, 3/29/01, http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47282.
3. "Bush Disses Global Warming Report ," CBSnews.com, 06/04/02,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47283.
4. "Suit targets carbon dioxide emissions by utilities ," Indystar.com,
07/22/04, http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47284.
5. "Southern Co 2004 PAC Summary Data," Opensecrets.org,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47285.
6. "Soft money donors found for Southern Co.," Opensecrets.org,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47286.
7. Opensecrets.org,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47287.
8. "Southern Co 2004 PAC Summary Data," Opensecrets.org,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47285.
9. "American Electric Power 2004 PAC Summary Data ," Opensecrets.org,
www.opensecrets.org/pacs/lookup2.asp?strID=C00096842&cycle=2004.
10. Opensecrets.org,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47288 .
11. "American Electric Power 2004 PAC Summary Data," Opensecrets.org,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47289.
12. "Cinergy Corp 2004 PAC Summary Data," Opensecrets.org,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47290.
13. "Soft money donors found for Cinergy," Opensecrets.org,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47291.
14. Opensecrets.org,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47292.
15. "Cinergy Corp 2004 PAC Summary Data," Opensecrets.org,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47290.
Visit www.Misleader.org for more about Bush Administration distortion.
Official White House Transcript
[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]
[DIALING TONES]
[PHONE RINGING]
SENATOR EDWARDS: Hello?
THE VICE PRESIDENT: [Muffled] Good morning. [Coughs] I'm calling from the National Association of Homo-Looking Ambulance Chasers. Would you be interested in a complementary subscription to the Sissies With Big Zitty Boils on Their Upper Lips Digest?
SENATOR EDWARDS: I'm afraid not. But thank you very much for the kind offer, and have a great day!
[CLICK]
THE VICE PRESIDENT: [Laughter]
ber-Patriotic Slogans!
Bumper Stickers!
[DIALING TONES]
[PHONE RINGING]
SENATOR EDWARDS: Hello? John Edwards speaking.
THE VICE PRESIDENT: [Falsetto] Hello? This is Mrs. Bertha McGillicuddy calling on behalf of the North Carolina Obese Ugly Democrat Wives Club. May I please speak with anyone to whom you're married who might be confused with Tipper Gore's slightly younger, yet even more fat-assed clone?
SENATOR EDWARDS: Sorry, I can't help you there, ma'am. Good luck finding your party though!
[CLICK]
THE VICE PRESIDENT: [Laughter & Knee Slapping]
[DIALING TONES]
[PHONE RINGING]
SENATOR EDWARDS: Hello? Senator Edwards here.
THE VICE PRESIDENT: [Faux Ebonics] Yo. Mutherfucking Dan Quayle? What up, bitch?
SENATOR EDWARDS: Dan Quayle? I'm afraid you've reached the wrong number.
THE VICE PRESIDENT: Fuck that! Senator Pretty Boy, right? Spell potato for baby-daddy, cracka!
SENATOR EDWARDS: Sorry. I have to go now.
[CLICK]
THE VICE PRESIDENT: [Laughter & Convulsive Snorting]
THE VICE PRESIDENT: [Sighs]
[DIALING TONES]
[PHONE RINGING]
SENATOR EDWARDS: Hello?
THE VICE PRESIDENT: Congratulations.
SENATOR EDWARDS: Mr. Vice President? Is that you?
THE VICE PRESIDENT: Yeah.
SENATOR EDWARDS: Thank you, sir! May I say, first, that I have Caller ID, and second, that I'm looking forward to an honorable campaign in which all Americans can take pride in
[CLICK]
[DIAL TONE]
THE VICE PRESIDENT: [Mumbling] Fucking [unintelligible] Breck Girl cunt [unintelligible] pretty boy asshole [unintelligible] shit [unintelligible] fucker [unintelligible] [unintelligible] [unintelligible] [unintelligible]
[END TRANSCRIPT]
Read these hilarious DUBIYA quotes
BUSH FOLLOWS DEMANDS OF DONORS ON GLOBAL WARMING
In 2000, President Bush promised that, if elected, he would work to
reduce carbon dioxide emissions that contribute to global warming.[1] Yet,
upon taking office, he withdrew American support from the Kyoto Treaty
to regulate carbon dioxide,[2] and he dismissed a report from his own
Environmental Protection Agency pointing out carbon dioxide's critical
role in global warming.[3] Now, with the White House having done nothing
to address the growing problem, elected attorneys from New York City
and eight states filed a lawsuit this week to force five utilities to
reduce carbon dioxide emissions.[4]
Why has President Bush reversed his position on carbon dioxide/global
warming, and why has he refused to confront these energy companies
himself? Because they are among the top donors to Republicans and the
Bush-Cheney campaign.
Among the defendants in the case are:
Southern Company, a company that has given almost a half million
dollars to Republicans congressional candidates[5] since 2000; has given more
than $1.1 million in soft money to the Republican Party;[6] and whose
executives[7] and political action committee[8] have given more than
$79,000 directly to the Bush-Cheney campaign.
American Electric Power Company, a company that has given more than
$550,000 to Republican congressional candidates[9] since 2000 and whose
executives[10] and political action committee[11] have given $24,000 to
the Bush-Cheney campaign.
Cinergy Corporation, a company that has given almost $200,000 to
Republican congressional candidates[12] since 2000; has given more than
$360,000 in soft money to the Republican Party;[13] and whose executives[14]
and political action committee[15] have given more than $27,000 to the
Bush-Cheney campaign.
Sources:
1. "Representative Tom Allen Criticizes Bush Broken Promise on CO2
Emissions from Power Plants," Representative Tom Allen, 03/14/01,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47281.
2. "USA withdraws from Kyoto protocol ," Directorate of Environmental
Affairs, 3/29/01, http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47282.
3. "Bush Disses Global Warming Report ," CBSnews.com, 06/04/02,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47283.
4. "Suit targets carbon dioxide emissions by utilities ," Indystar.com,
07/22/04, http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47284.
5. "Southern Co 2004 PAC Summary Data," Opensecrets.org,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47285.
6. "Soft money donors found for Southern Co.," Opensecrets.org,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47286.
7. Opensecrets.org,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47287.
8. "Southern Co 2004 PAC Summary Data," Opensecrets.org,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47285.
9. "American Electric Power 2004 PAC Summary Data ," Opensecrets.org,
www.opensecrets.org/pacs/lookup2.asp?strID=C00096842&cycle=2004.
10. Opensecrets.org,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47288 .
11. "American Electric Power 2004 PAC Summary Data," Opensecrets.org,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47289.
12. "Cinergy Corp 2004 PAC Summary Data," Opensecrets.org,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47290.
13. "Soft money donors found for Cinergy," Opensecrets.org,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47291.
14. Opensecrets.org,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47292.
15. "Cinergy Corp 2004 PAC Summary Data," Opensecrets.org,
http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=3037967&l=47290.
Visit www.Misleader.org for more about Bush Administration distortion.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
this makes me sad