violently

All I wanted to know was that he cared and I wasn't wasting my time. He is introducing me as his friend to people. I mean I don't need the label but I need to know that there is something more than a friendship going on. What I get back is that I'm freaking him out and pushing him away and he doesn't think he can give me what I'm looking for.

I asked him if he is saying he doesn't want to see me anymore and he said no.

Why would he tell me he loved me all those times if he didn't mean it?

I am a fucking mess right now, I can't stop crying and I don't know what to think.

Karla says I should just go on my merry way, stop giving a fuck, and he'll come around. I hope she is right. It just hurts so bad and it's so hard because he is so far away. Figures I would fall in love again and this is how it would turn out.

I'm going to go out and get tattooed and then get really drunk tonight and make out with everyone. What better way to start getting over someone. Bring on the pain and the debauchery, I'm coming back.

God I need a hug so fucking bad right now.