violently

I hate that whenever I cry my eyes feel funny for the rest of the day and all I wanna do is lay around and hide under a blanket.

I hate that when I make a conscious effort to try to lose more weight I magically become hungry all of the time.

I hate that everything seems so hard right now.

I'm going to my boyfriend's house after work tomorrow morning, and I'm going to crawl into bed with him. This is what is keeping me going right now. Tomorrow will be a good day, spent with him, not eating at all (I never eat when I am around him for some reason), and seeing The Exorcist.

More than likely I will take Wednesday off and go search for more gyms to apply at. Today has been one of those days that really made me realize that I HAVE to get the hell out of here or I am not going to make it mentally. There have been too many "I wish I would just get run over by a bus" days lately.

Wish me luck that someone hires me, I magically win the lotto or something, or that my credit card company blows up thus losing track of the $1600 I owe them.

Good day.