vervain______

there is no way i can say what it's like to absorb a scene the people the smells they go into you to be played back even when your safe in the house in your own bedroom with the lights off the cat licking it's butt near you-the normal things that go on. i have this running inside my head like a bad song or the thread attached to the needle zipping into and out of the fabric creating holes. i wish you a sensitive life i wish you moments of such complete empathy with others that their pain is yours so that the two could be interchangable so that you would wonder how you got here. i am sitting alone with you sleeping reminding me that it is only me that can feel these things that it is me whose sleep is disrupted it is with me that feels everything is unsafe unmended unhealed. WAH!