The Fine Art of Falling
Current mood: depressed
About a year ago I felt like I was on top of the world. My life was coming together very nicely. I was waking up every morning and going to a job I actually liked and enjoyed. I had finally gotten my driver's liscense and even owned my own car. I had a great girl who I wanted to spend life with. I had even established credit. I really felt like things were starting to come together nicely.....
Then comes the end of April. The horrifying words of "I need space". Losing the affection of the one person you spent the past four years spending as much time as possible with. The feelings that its only a pphase and she'll see we are right together. The feeling of loneliness, of trying to be close to someone who would so rather be with others. Yearning for the one person who never took notice to the entire pain I felt. Then came the betrayel of my friends who would rather try and make a better friendship with the one you want, then spare the good one you had. The humiliation of feeling nieve and being the only one who never knew the truth. The pain of being on vacation hundreds of miles from home with "friends" and feeling like the loneliest person in the world. More friendly betrayel. The lost of the job I so cared about with no real emotional support to fall back on. Feeling of failure as I try a new approach to life. The rejection of the only person in the world you desperately desire and her trip half way across the world. I even lost access to my car, so I am trapped with no where to run. I can't escape the emotional pain anymore, because I have no where to go. I am stuck fighting the emotional demons trapped inside, and losing the battle horribly.....
I analyze the past year and realize there were some good moments, but in general it has been hell. "Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up", yeah thats because being a grown up sucks. And all these wonderful feeling come based on a single event. When you look forward to something for so long, then it all backfires and you are left at home with nothing but this keyboard. These keys are now covered with the blanket of my own insecurities......
I just wanted to go to the show tonight
Current mood: depressed
About a year ago I felt like I was on top of the world. My life was coming together very nicely. I was waking up every morning and going to a job I actually liked and enjoyed. I had finally gotten my driver's liscense and even owned my own car. I had a great girl who I wanted to spend life with. I had even established credit. I really felt like things were starting to come together nicely.....
Then comes the end of April. The horrifying words of "I need space". Losing the affection of the one person you spent the past four years spending as much time as possible with. The feelings that its only a pphase and she'll see we are right together. The feeling of loneliness, of trying to be close to someone who would so rather be with others. Yearning for the one person who never took notice to the entire pain I felt. Then came the betrayel of my friends who would rather try and make a better friendship with the one you want, then spare the good one you had. The humiliation of feeling nieve and being the only one who never knew the truth. The pain of being on vacation hundreds of miles from home with "friends" and feeling like the loneliest person in the world. More friendly betrayel. The lost of the job I so cared about with no real emotional support to fall back on. Feeling of failure as I try a new approach to life. The rejection of the only person in the world you desperately desire and her trip half way across the world. I even lost access to my car, so I am trapped with no where to run. I can't escape the emotional pain anymore, because I have no where to go. I am stuck fighting the emotional demons trapped inside, and losing the battle horribly.....
I analyze the past year and realize there were some good moments, but in general it has been hell. "Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up", yeah thats because being a grown up sucks. And all these wonderful feeling come based on a single event. When you look forward to something for so long, then it all backfires and you are left at home with nothing but this keyboard. These keys are now covered with the blanket of my own insecurities......
I just wanted to go to the show tonight
kinkykurlz:
Hey cuteness...I'm sorry you are depressed...I hate that shit...and it's so hard to get back up.I agree with you totally about the grown up role...it sux. Anyway cheer up cause you are so cute and there is no need for some like you to be depressed. 
