How do you tell a teenager it gets better?

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I came across an issue today that left me with some confusion. My all but 14 year old niece through marriage is dealing with typical teenage feelings of inadequacy and I guess ultimately some bullying. She'd posted an Instagram picture about missing out on a crush you really like and hashtagged it as #ugly.

It kind of bugged me that she was feeling down on herself like this and so young. Though not blood, she's been in my life since she was like 5-6 and since she's taken a fancy to me as her uncle, she always been kind of like one of two things. Short of the baby sister I never had and almost like the daughter I could have, so I care a lot and want to see her progress in the world and not be treated like shit.

Granted she's unfortunately in that awkward period where she's transitioning from child into a real teen/women. Strangely awkward... Yes. Ugly... Not even close. And she's got some good genes to follow in... My wife, her other aunt, and her mom are all attractive. So how do you help them find self worth in themselves at this age. Especially when other girls are calling her straight up ugly or horse toothed. I joking told her to grab a bitch by her hair and smash her pretty face into something, but I guess that's not acceptable anymore. Haha. Being 20 years older, I reiterate the same cliche bullshit, that no kid believes, but in time we all learn is true. Explaining to them to have the confidence in themselves to be who they want to be, and being comfortable with who they are, will help them get past it isn't easy for them to get either.

Advice... Suggestions?

VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
soraleia:
They really are and it's unfortunate girls are especially bad; not like boys where they can duke it out and then be friends. Sound like you already know what's up. It's good she's got a sweet uncle to look out for her as well!
mclovinn:
I think almost any girl can relate to this. I know I personally even to this day joke about my "ugly duckling phases" though I was pretty bad, just in terms of not caring for a while (would just throw my hair up in a ponytail and leave in the mornings) but even once I did start caring about how I carried myself the kids I grew up with still saw me as I was before, and teased me endlessly. I was picked on for having fake hair (which I didn't I actually just colored my hair crazy colors - not getting little clip in hair at Hot topic like they assumed) fake nails, called pretty much every name you can think of in terms of picking on a girl's weight. Girls are mean man, and I don't think there's one definite way to help or end it, I tried defending myself, verbally, and physically even, though obviously not recommended, eventually you either have enough and say screw those people, or you believe it.. I did both. I chose to be homeschooled freshman year of HS because I couldn't stand another 4 years with the same kids who'd be fucking with me for years. Best choice I ever made, getting away from the literal abuse that going to school put me through on a social level, was so helpful in starting to look at things from my own perspective, not having other people constantly pushing their views of yourself down your throat, because let's face it, kids are vulnerable or susceptible  even through their teens to believe, or go along with what other people tell them (most of the time) especially if you have enough people bashing the same thing into your head constantly. I know this may not help at all, but maybe understanding if you can even mentally "take her away" from that perspective maybe it'd be easier to change her perception of herself?

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