venenumliscens

Lately I've been feeling very resentful towards my dad to the point where I would love to physically attack him. It's been 11 years since last time I saw him and still can't get over him running off with a girl my age. 30 years his minor. He left after I graduated and proved my younger brother dropped out and started working. Basically his obligation to child support was finished, then he up and left. The idea that I was only a financial obligation infuriates me to no end.

I missed out on being close to my half my family for more than half my life. I have an older brother and sister whom I've only seen my brother once in the last 20 years or more. My older sister I have only started establishing a relationship with as a result of facebook. I have a few of the most loving, caring aunts I've ever talked to. Due to the fact that I wasn't exposed to them from the time i was like 10 years old until I was like 16, and by then I'd have grown away from them. It was awkward, but then come 19 and he disappears leaving me awkward and avoiding of my family again until recently.

A lot of this is stemming from the forthcoming venture into fatherhood that I am taking. I wonder how someone can do that to their family, their children of all people. The whole thing angers and saddens me and I look forward to being so much more than he ever was.