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Here's a little bit of advice from me to you, just because we're internet nudie friends:

If you ever hear someone say, "Girl, you got a ugly baby," that means someone is about to get shanked with a pencil.

According to one of my students, the reason D-Day was so successful for the Allies in WWII was The Great Wall of Belgium. I can only hope he was trying to be funny.

Also, the only way I've been able to put metric weights and measures in a context they'll understand is by relating it to buying and selling drugs: "If you were stopped...
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Today at school our administrator brought in a big, buttery, frostingful cake that said, "Happy Birthday, Jenny", because it was half-price and she wanted cake. The math teacher made pumpkin bread, and the night school teacher brought chocolate chip cookies. Yeah, I work with a shitload of pregnant women. And pregnant students. God, I hope it's not something in the water.

Today I had to send eight students home for rabble-rousing, refer one to the social worker because he was too high to stand and was sawing through his arm with a plastic knife, and had another student beg me to send him to rehab because his mother wouldn't. Days like these make me sad.

Here's a tip for all you guys who are looking to make it with the ladies: The ladies really don't like it when you say, "Sweet! Charlie Sheen!" in the middle of making out with them. I really have to learn to turn off the TV.

This morning I had a conversation about waxing Robin Williams. Yeah, it was a little disturbing to me, too.

It was determined that, though I wouldn't disapprove of Robin Williams being waxed, I probably wouldn't join in the fun. The most I would be willing to contribute would be heating up the wax.