Today I spent an hour and a half arranging, rearranging and pricing forty-seven monkey wrenches, one hundred and twenty-seven model cars, and eighty six model airplanes. No one asked me to hurry; we were all taking our time metering out the leftovers of a man's life. I kept a little wooden log plane, the tiniest monkey wrench, and a Volkswagen Beetle that is really a...
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freakpirate:
Hello again.
mistersatan:
Wasn't me- they've been reactivating people's accounts and calling it "mystery gift reactivation" or some sneaky bullshit.
The kids made me try Mountain Dew yesterday, because they couldn't believe I've never had it.
Kid: They didn't have Mountain Dew when you were a kid? Man, you're old!
Me: Yes, they had it. I just never thought it was something that would appeal to me.
Other Kid: Oh, you have to try it! It's so good! You'll be totally addicted!
Good news: I'm...
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Kid: They didn't have Mountain Dew when you were a kid? Man, you're old!
Me: Yes, they had it. I just never thought it was something that would appeal to me.
Other Kid: Oh, you have to try it! It's so good! You'll be totally addicted!
Good news: I'm...
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black122:
I agree that stuff is gross, the colour itself should be your first clue.
unravled:
So completely disgusting. Even more disgusting is that people give it to their kids.
For the first time in my life, I dropped my toast on the floor. It didn't land butter side down, or butter side up, for that matter. It landed on the edge.
Fate can go suck rocks, because it's got nothing on the awesomeness of being me.
Fate can go suck rocks, because it's got nothing on the awesomeness of being me.
zaksmith:
that's amazing. did you take a picture?
I saw a Chinese midget throw a dead bird at a postal worker today. Yesterday I saw a toothless retarded man in a wheelchair eating a gigantic lolly while a dog with pigtails pulled him around in circles. And now, this.
I have come to the conclusion that the world has completely lost its fucking nut.
I have come to the conclusion that the world has completely lost its fucking nut.
sprat:
hasn't it what? but in a kinda awesome way...
i heart tokyo, too.
i heart tokyo, too.
flux:
That's pretty much my conclusion, as well.
Peanut butter that separates is my mortal enemy.
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adjunct:
It all separates, unless it's one of those gross ones.
Oh my god. You eat Jif, don't you?
Oh my god. You eat Jif, don't you?
null:
Peanut butter that separates would be rad if i had a paint shaker.
This morning a crazy little old man drove me around on a miniature truck. It was one of the best things that's ever happened to me.
I ate octopus balls!
They were yummy. Squishy on the inside, crunchy on the outside.
They were yummy. Squishy on the inside, crunchy on the outside.
ginny:
Squishy. Ew.
SNOW DAY!
It only took me half an hour to clear off my car and get it moved so I don't get towed. Now I'm going to make grilled cheese sandwiches and beer for breakfast and spend the day watching Batman cartoons, because that's what snow days are for.
Hell, yes.
It only took me half an hour to clear off my car and get it moved so I don't get towed. Now I'm going to make grilled cheese sandwiches and beer for breakfast and spend the day watching Batman cartoons, because that's what snow days are for.
Hell, yes.
freakpirate:
Oh man... I think you've got me beat.
freakpirate:
Ha. No worries. I'd be so thrilled. If I were you I'd be giddy and bragging all over the place. 
So how did you end up in Tokyo? Vacation? Alien abduction?
So how did you end up in Tokyo? Vacation? Alien abduction?
This is the best show that has ever been broadcast on television, ever. Watch it with your friends and family; they will love you more. Watch it with people you want to make out with; you will score, guaranteed. Recommend it to the people you think are hip and cool, and they will immediately recognize how much cooler you are than them. Seriously. I do...
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freakpirate:
They came in a giant bundle of stuff actually. Apparently our front walk was covered in ice and they refused to deliver the last week's worth of mail. So they've likely been sitting at the post office for a while.
twinkie:
My mom asked for a dessert scarf for her bday. It's turning out a bit cartoony and little-girlie for a grown woman, I think. Oh well! SHE AXED FOR IT!
This morning at 3:30, I encountered a serious design flaw in the human body. I've been sick with a head cold for the past week. I've been feverish, congested and leaking snot. Yesterday I started to feel better, and I was convinced that after a good night's sleep I'd be back at 100%.
Not so.
When I woke at 3:30, and for the next hour...
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Not so.
When I woke at 3:30, and for the next hour...
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adjunct:
This is actually a well-documented bug and we're hoping for a fix with the next release.
Yesterday morning at about 4 fucking 30, the boyfriend started growling in his sleep. When I rolled over to see what the hell he was doing, his eyes were open and he was glaring at me. He sleeps with his eyes open sometimes. Yeah, it's kind of creepy. Then he growled, "THEY'RE WEARING OUR HAIR. WHY ARE THEY WEARING OUR HAIR?" After that, I...
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maike:
You do wear a silver crucifix at all times, right?
dierdre:
ahhh hahahah.
According to my fiance, i do that sometimes too. O_o
According to my fiance, i do that sometimes too. O_o
"I'm going on vacation next month. Since you insist, I promise not to bring you back anything that uses its testicles to fly. That doesn't mean I won't bring back a ton of them for your husband, though. There may even be action figures."
Truer words were never spoken. I'm going to find action figures with kung-fu flying testicles. I bet you wish you were...
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Truer words were never spoken. I'm going to find action figures with kung-fu flying testicles. I bet you wish you were...
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freakpirate:
Ooh! If I'm lucky I'll have it for my first day back to work. I can play sweet new music for the entire warehouse.
flux:
I'd say that's pretty romantic.