velocity

I bought a used copy of Jennifer Government for one of my students today, and inside I found two free tickets to a theater production of Puppetry of the Penis! Wow! I was super thrilled and horrified at the same time, until I realized that the tickets were dated for March of 2005. Then I was both relieved and disappointed.

I think now would be a good time for me to start killing indiscriminately.

Recap:
I was hit by a guy in a truck on the freeway. Turns out he was a cop. I filed a police report, attempted to file an insurance claim against him, but was told he owned two silver Dodge trucks and I would need the VIN to file a claim....
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So sick. Going to die. Yesterday I started to feel myself getting sick, and I said if I got another goddamn sinus infection I'd have to just start killing indiscriminately. Believe me, if there were anything within three feet of my sofa that could be killed by waving weakly at it, it would be dead.

I love my job. Even on a day when nothing can go right, things go wrong in such a hilarious manner.

Our secretary is in a wheelchair, and yesterday she had to have her inevitable conversation with the new boss. "I have a degenerative muscle disease," she said, "Which sometimes causes involuntary spasming." Of course, as she was finishing this sentence, she involuntarily kicked him...
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Yes, I realize that it's not even six in the morning and I'm in my underwear watching The Elegant Universe. I realize what a total nerd that makes me.

It turns out that this episode of Nova (one of my favorite programs) is brought to me by, among others, the Howard Hughes Institute for Medical Research. I just cracked myself up imagining what it...
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I hate it when innocent, hardworking young men are brought down by the inevitable fuckwittery of bureaucracies.




In other words, the man better stop keeping my students down.

The student I've been working closely with has finished. I got my grades done yesterday before the deadline. I sent out all of my letters home. The new boss doesn't start until Monday. I have 48 hours of sick leave that I'll probably never use, and don't get paid for if I don't.

I'm playing hooky, y'all. Don't tell my students.

My favorite little thug finally finished high school today. I told him that if he worked as hard at everything as he did at graduating, there's nothing in this world he can't do. He shed a little tear, I shed a little tear; but let me assure you, they were the two most gangsta little tears ever shed. I'm going to miss that kid.

In...
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The fill-in receptionist asked me if I had any big plans for this weekend. My reply was, "I'll be reading about writing comic books and organizing my yarn." I don't think she thought I was entirely serious. Well, my yarn is about one-third organized, and Alan Moore writes about his craft like a primadonna.

A primadonna of comic book writers. That's just so ridiculous.

My sister and her husband got drunk on a Tuesday afternoon and heckled the Al Gore movie.