vassago

It's been quite awhile since Ive bothered writing in this.
It just hasn't felt necessary. It's not like what I write is read or anything.

I wanted to see how you were.
It was longing or sadness or morbid curiosity, i guess.
I am such a weak boy, I deserve what I get.

So, I reached out in to empty space, hoping to find you.
And I did.
You say that you are all gone. Gone away.
You say that you are going further, too.
I read yours with my heart in my throat... why can't I ever get over it?
Why doesn't my heart ever fade away?

It hurt, the way you referred to me.
The empty way that you wished me well, when once you ached to be more a part of me.
Now you ache for nothing, nothing in me, at least.

So, why does this sting so bitterly, and so sweetly?
And why so terribly?

Since you've walked on, I have been pointlessly wandering.
I can take it no more.. is it to be years in this place? Alone, terrified, desperate to know something that has so long left me behind?

And look at what desperation has made me into...

...still I love you.