My God.
I was just going through old snapshot archives... stored on my computer. I found DOZENS of photos of me in a quite precarious situation, with these two girls I used to be close to...
Jesus.. Its sick, but I can't remember the night at all.. not for the life of me. I TRULY speant over a year of my life in a deranged delerium.. a total blackout.
How did I survive? Why did I survive?
I am in such a state now. I cannot describe where I have been to over these past few weeks. But I was given a gift.. A rare opportunity of sight that few ever have.
I have seen myself from the outside.. maybe what YOU see. I was appaled, disgusted.
I loathe my flesh, I loathe my spirit.
I was born to be more.. to feel more, to make more, to know more. More than this shit.
I will not be another dead junkie.
I refuse to let your words make me another waste.
I will wake again, I will love again.
I will take my life back and I will grow into something we can here only dream of.
I want what I want.
I was just going through old snapshot archives... stored on my computer. I found DOZENS of photos of me in a quite precarious situation, with these two girls I used to be close to...
Jesus.. Its sick, but I can't remember the night at all.. not for the life of me. I TRULY speant over a year of my life in a deranged delerium.. a total blackout.
How did I survive? Why did I survive?
I am in such a state now. I cannot describe where I have been to over these past few weeks. But I was given a gift.. A rare opportunity of sight that few ever have.
I have seen myself from the outside.. maybe what YOU see. I was appaled, disgusted.
I loathe my flesh, I loathe my spirit.
I was born to be more.. to feel more, to make more, to know more. More than this shit.
I will not be another dead junkie.
I refuse to let your words make me another waste.
I will wake again, I will love again.
I will take my life back and I will grow into something we can here only dream of.
I want what I want.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
cureelise:
It was nice chatting with u. thanks for keeping my mind off of my car. 
and for the hair advice. your journal is sounding a bit more on the upside. I really hope things are starting to turn around for u and get better.
and for the hair advice. your journal is sounding a bit more on the upside. I really hope things are starting to turn around for u and get better. 
allycat_13:
Love the photography. Theres something about black and white photos that gets me everytime. Color can be beautiful, but black and white show contrast more. Shadows and light are zeroed in more also. Good stuff!