My God. Your getting to me.
Its bad enough that Im depressed beyond recovery...
but this is just pitiful.
Ive tried so hard.. as a part of my recovery, my revival, to reach you. Ive written, ive talked, Ive cried.... and nothing.
I could be crying to myself. no difference.
this is shameful. this is disgusting.
I reach out, i need to feel some reflection.
And you shun me, you walk away...
you ignore me, you spite me, you move your pompous little ass across the country and close your eyes.
I am still left, pitiful and sobbing and alone.
Every day the same.
My efforts are draining.
Today I find myself wishing you wont call.
Hoping not to see you or think of you... tired of aching.
Today, I find that I dont care how you are doing.
I don't care if Ive ever hurt you.
Maybe I will hate myself for this... Im becoming cold and complacent and empty. Just like you are.
Isnt that just wonderful?
Even if you were to reach for me... and you will not...
I would turn on you.
Its bad enough that Im depressed beyond recovery...
but this is just pitiful.
Ive tried so hard.. as a part of my recovery, my revival, to reach you. Ive written, ive talked, Ive cried.... and nothing.
I could be crying to myself. no difference.
this is shameful. this is disgusting.
I reach out, i need to feel some reflection.
And you shun me, you walk away...
you ignore me, you spite me, you move your pompous little ass across the country and close your eyes.
I am still left, pitiful and sobbing and alone.
Every day the same.
My efforts are draining.
Today I find myself wishing you wont call.
Hoping not to see you or think of you... tired of aching.
Today, I find that I dont care how you are doing.
I don't care if Ive ever hurt you.
Maybe I will hate myself for this... Im becoming cold and complacent and empty. Just like you are.
Isnt that just wonderful?
Even if you were to reach for me... and you will not...
I would turn on you.
Today I find myself wishing you wont call.
Hoping not to see you or think of you... tired of aching.
Today, I find that I dont care how you are doing.
I don't care if Ive ever hurt you.
Maybe I will hate myself for this... Im becoming cold and complacent and empty. Just like you are
I like that. It shows me that the bitch inside of u is starting to come out. there was something really deep that i wanted to tell u . but for some reason i'm at a loss of words and it's pissing me off . i really want to pull u in and help , but how can i when i can't even tell u what i wanted to.
all that is coming to my head is what my friend kalib and i use to do when he was going through his recovery . he would get really depressed and pissed at times cause everyone turned their backs on him when he was detoxing. he an i would fill up the tub and drink a bottle of wine or some tea while we sat there pouring out our feeling using lyrics , poems or just whatever would come to our mind. it actually helped and it's kinda making me wish that i could be sitting in a tub doing this with u . it might help me get out what i was trying to tell u .
we need to figure out a way to hang out soon .
[Edited on Feb 08, 2005 3:38PM]