I am damned to repeat the very same pains and fool-hearted dramas in this life.
And what for... untill i solve them?
Until I fail and take that expeted step across the faultline... what?
I am at 30mg methadone right now.
Its been a living hell even getting here.
If i make it , it will be worth it; even though i might be all alone..
Im ramling. Im tired.. maybe ill layy down.
I know if i do i cll cry...
A billion things weight in my head right now.
One of you is slipping away... late night encounters with boys and intentionally short, or avoided, conversations spell it out for me. And " 'K'" memory still sits with me, it just wont yet go. Im not in love, but i need it to go.
Im in a dark, idiot place right right now.
I feel unneded and passed over.. an avoided stain.
What hurts the worst; the truth in that. The Reaseon 'K' went, the reason 'you' will go along your beautiful path.
Because I can only stain it.
The harder I work to be pure, the more fall against me.
I just wanted to give something powerful, beautiful. Something I hold secret.
I suppose ill go. Ill be y my phone, in case you meant youd call.
And what for... untill i solve them?
Until I fail and take that expeted step across the faultline... what?
I am at 30mg methadone right now.
Its been a living hell even getting here.
If i make it , it will be worth it; even though i might be all alone..
Im ramling. Im tired.. maybe ill layy down.
I know if i do i cll cry...
A billion things weight in my head right now.
One of you is slipping away... late night encounters with boys and intentionally short, or avoided, conversations spell it out for me. And " 'K'" memory still sits with me, it just wont yet go. Im not in love, but i need it to go.
Im in a dark, idiot place right right now.
I feel unneded and passed over.. an avoided stain.
What hurts the worst; the truth in that. The Reaseon 'K' went, the reason 'you' will go along your beautiful path.
Because I can only stain it.
The harder I work to be pure, the more fall against me.
I just wanted to give something powerful, beautiful. Something I hold secret.
I suppose ill go. Ill be y my phone, in case you meant youd call.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I might not have ever been on meth, but I know what its like to be at that edge, to feel so lonely and alien to others, so alone. To know the one thing that takes away that horrible feeling is the one thing killing me and to wonder if I even care anymore. But I did and I hope you do. Its never just us mate....
http://www.deviantart.com/view/6676890/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/939463/
Some of us know it too, in our own ways.