vassago

My birthday this weekend was nice... thanks to a certain handful of you....
I missed some people. I might have a belated get together at my place this weekend.


Im really depressed right now. Currents are moving in ways i never predicted.
I really wish 'A' wasn't leaving. It doesnt feel right soemhow.. but it is what she wants....

I think that I always thought (really deep down), that she and I would end up "together".
guess not. Aren't I a fucking retard?

She will never get just how much ill miss what might have been.
But I will not burn for it... this is just more of her "running". Something that she does best...
All I want for her is to be happy... my heart can take a fucking backseat.

I dreamt of the blue ocean.. again.


Right now; Im dying my dreds blue-black and thinking of calling 'A'.
Maybe I can see her a lst time before she dissapears (maybe forever????)
It will be hard... I haven't a car to get over to her with. Im trapped.

I really wish I felt some other way right now.
Dissapointment travels in her cycles....