So, I wrote it about a week ago. Korea has been hard on me. Being away from my family and friends for a year gets hard. Granted, I am in Korea and have had a blast, and it is no where like a real deployment... But, this is what came out of it. I am selfish, but wouldn't you be too if you were in the same situation? I am so remorseful for the troops who did not come home... That is why I wear my uniform everyday and fight for a damn good reason...Please tell me your thoughts on this..... I made my brother cry, and sent this to my mom who I know will cry. It was a hard time for all three of us....
I may be selfish... But, is it so wrong to be damn thankful he came home alive, compared to the others?
So, you think once you read that sentence that I am a military wife. Wrong. I am in the military, now before all this happened, and this is about my brother... My hero. The real reason I joined.
I can still remember. 13 months the first time, 7 the next. I waited for that letter.
The letter, you know, the one that all the women fall to their knees to, crying in the movies.
Me... I would have had a heart attack and died. I tear up as I write this.
My big brother. My hero. The reason I joined.... I waited.
Luckily, unlike so many other families, I didn't get that letter. I waited.
There is countless times I have cried, countless pills I have taken for depression.
Is it wrong for me to be so damn happy he came home and I didn't get that letter?
I still cry to this day. What if it HAD been him? I would have lost it, and myself.
I lost my brother to the Army. No, I lost him to his deployments.
We were close before he joined.
We had to be. We drove about 30 minutes to school everyday, and then hung out with his friends after school. I really had no say, he was 4 years older.
I grew up without a father, so when Mom was busy working to pay bills, he helped raise me.
We had our hard times like any siblings.
But when it came down to it, I was his little sister.
The day he left for basic training, him and I originally planned on going to Ozz Fest together.
Then, he learned he was going to deploy.
He sent his girlfriend his credit card, so she could take me to a concert to make up for it.
I had fun, but it didn't suffice for him being there with me.
He deployed.
The day he left, I was a War Protest at the capitol.
I felt for him. I hated the government, but I loved him.
I supported my troops, but couldn't fully understand what all was going on.
I was 14 and into the "punk rock scene".
I waited...
Then, he came home.
13 months later.
Mom and I went to go see him.
He barely talked.
I missed my brother.
The true man I knew him as.
Two weeks before he got out of the Army...
They stop lost him.
They said 4 months....
Those 4 months passed. He wasn't home yet.
I waited.
7 months later, he was home.
Is it wrong to be selfish and thank God he was home?
For the second time?
He was silent about the things he saw and the things he thought.
I thought I lost him, forever.
The boy, who turned into a man, who helped raise me...
My hero.
It took years for him to finally open up.
Even then, he still hasn't told all his stories.
His poetry screams stories, but no one can understand like he does.
I was struggling in the real world life.
He talked me into joining.
No, not the Army, anything but the Army.
Navy or Air Force were my options.
I had plenty of "reasons" to join.
So, I joined the Air Force.
He is the main reason.
My big brother.
My hero.
Now, even with all that is happening in the world, the places I have been that he has not...
I fight for him.
The things I know that he never did...
I fight for him.
I waited.
He hopefully will never have to wait like I did.
I still cry.
I hope he will never have to.
I want him to know I will always have his back,
Will always defend his name....
I will always fight for him.
He made me so proud.
I can only hope to do the same.
I defend his honor, as well as many others.
I waited.
I am selfish to say, I am glad to have him home?
I may be selfish... But, is it so wrong to be damn thankful he came home alive, compared to the others?
So, you think once you read that sentence that I am a military wife. Wrong. I am in the military, now before all this happened, and this is about my brother... My hero. The real reason I joined.
I can still remember. 13 months the first time, 7 the next. I waited for that letter.
The letter, you know, the one that all the women fall to their knees to, crying in the movies.
Me... I would have had a heart attack and died. I tear up as I write this.
My big brother. My hero. The reason I joined.... I waited.
Luckily, unlike so many other families, I didn't get that letter. I waited.
There is countless times I have cried, countless pills I have taken for depression.
Is it wrong for me to be so damn happy he came home and I didn't get that letter?
I still cry to this day. What if it HAD been him? I would have lost it, and myself.
I lost my brother to the Army. No, I lost him to his deployments.
We were close before he joined.
We had to be. We drove about 30 minutes to school everyday, and then hung out with his friends after school. I really had no say, he was 4 years older.
I grew up without a father, so when Mom was busy working to pay bills, he helped raise me.
We had our hard times like any siblings.
But when it came down to it, I was his little sister.
The day he left for basic training, him and I originally planned on going to Ozz Fest together.
Then, he learned he was going to deploy.
He sent his girlfriend his credit card, so she could take me to a concert to make up for it.
I had fun, but it didn't suffice for him being there with me.
He deployed.
The day he left, I was a War Protest at the capitol.
I felt for him. I hated the government, but I loved him.
I supported my troops, but couldn't fully understand what all was going on.
I was 14 and into the "punk rock scene".
I waited...
Then, he came home.
13 months later.
Mom and I went to go see him.
He barely talked.
I missed my brother.
The true man I knew him as.
Two weeks before he got out of the Army...
They stop lost him.
They said 4 months....
Those 4 months passed. He wasn't home yet.
I waited.
7 months later, he was home.
Is it wrong to be selfish and thank God he was home?
For the second time?
He was silent about the things he saw and the things he thought.
I thought I lost him, forever.
The boy, who turned into a man, who helped raise me...
My hero.
It took years for him to finally open up.
Even then, he still hasn't told all his stories.
His poetry screams stories, but no one can understand like he does.
I was struggling in the real world life.
He talked me into joining.
No, not the Army, anything but the Army.
Navy or Air Force were my options.
I had plenty of "reasons" to join.
So, I joined the Air Force.
He is the main reason.
My big brother.
My hero.
Now, even with all that is happening in the world, the places I have been that he has not...
I fight for him.
The things I know that he never did...
I fight for him.
I waited.
He hopefully will never have to wait like I did.
I still cry.
I hope he will never have to.
I want him to know I will always have his back,
Will always defend his name....
I will always fight for him.
He made me so proud.
I can only hope to do the same.
I defend his honor, as well as many others.
I waited.
I am selfish to say, I am glad to have him home?
Btw, I have missed you too.