van_goghs_ear

Oh I was considering being a cheeto (cheeseball) and asking a local to photog me next to the "sold out" poster...it was so cool but i was afraid. Instead since I knew one of the workers they let me take the poster! YAY! I forgot it at my ex's house though. I can't decide if I should put it in my room or the living room...eh. I DID take a pic of myself before bed, I hope that counts?

I DID not get to ask......I was told no approaching the artist!

Funny: at one point he left for a long time and a huge long drum circle solo went on. I left for a smokey and someone outside was complaining, when's this guy coming back, i can't handle this drums shit anymore. Then he started complaining about where the hell is his girlfriend and I muttered "Where do you think he is now!" I was meaning to imply Pelle was banging his gf but I don't think he was amused! Well I thought I was hilarious.

I will update exploits soon....I will feel like garbage too. Lack of food.

that poem is fucking awesome!

it almost seems familiar, like a song i know..

cynical bastard. you're probably just too sarcastic for your own good. a quality i find extremely attractive btw...

thank you for the birthday wish

I was kicked off of the mission tonight!!!!

Was considering Sparking in which case but I have a raging headache...

oh Lord


but my favorite was when he slapped ned. just the balls to do something like that, it was completely outlandish.

you said it was completely outlandish!!!!!!! ahahahahaa!! i love it! it's true it was nearly flamboyant. HE was anyway.....so rad.

i have a can of Sparks cracked right now, I'm considering having a pill to go that way I'll zonk out before i crunk out. after all my talk of getting to bed early.

i have some new NO concerns after just talking with an EMT who is being sent out there next week for search and recovery (so morbid). i need to tlak to my crew b/c i have no idea what he has cooked up but apparently we cannot be going anywhere near anything without being with a group; which i will get on the horn about tomorrow. my cousin is setting up a sponsorship for me (I've turned into Tony Hawk now) and is reporting that I should be going to Texas where the largest number of refugees is and it is safer. more details as they come....

GOOD LUCK TOMORR'A

i'm going to have t orepeat my Tony Hawk refernce i my update so you got it first.

I can't even process thoughts to respond just yet b/c I really wanna head out to the liquor store.

I jsut got some bad news, but such is life that it was immediately followed by something joyous: a wonderful young man just left my house in a cab


with baby Myla.

So I'm a little overwhelmed...I'm a little angry over the bad news but elated over Myla. I need to bridge the gap and I request Sparks.

So holla I'll be back shortly.

AHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhkkkkkkkk!!!! SO HILARIOUS!!! You tried Sparks for the first time!?!?!? If so that is SO FUCKING RAD I seriously feel loved.

Here's a funny: I should find the picture but along my outside-travels (HA!) tonight I bumped head long into my friend who actually introduced the name Sparks to me, I'd just never heard of this alcohol. The weird thing about running into her is she is actually from Detroit , so hey, there's some 3 degrees of Sparks for us!!! She moved to NY and was totally randomly in Philly tonight and we totally crashed into each toher on the street, how fucking WEIRD is that?! ANd I totally thanked her for "introducing me to Sparks, thank you so much" before I even asked her what the hell she was doing here!

OK LINKAGE PLEASE TO THE FLICK. I am actually sitting at my ex's house now and am about to get ready to go home, drinky and have my usual night in with SG.

The night out was very lovely--wonderful actually and not just b/c of my nice dinner date. Lots of surprises happened. I shall be back later!!!

Stay strong Sparks soldier!!!

K...my mood is not as uppity as it was before so I might be less chipper now (house stuff and i'm just sick to death of it).

I felt the worst with The Good Girl in that she really did love him, I think. It was just horribly complicated. I think it was her doom really but she took advantage of him and of his innocence. Definitely I think.

Man on Fire, whoa that's high scale for me--is Mickey Rourke in that? I don't how well i take action-isn't it like action sort of? I could be wrong. I remember it playing my house when people were here and I apparently wasn't turned on.

Yeah I'm defiintely going to get to the book...I keep reading the same books over and again so it's stupid esp when I have so many new ones. But I haven't been able to concentrate lately.

Eternal Sunshine: the concept I thought was brilliant. I wanted to love it from the start as well b/c it takes place on Long Island and that was special to me as it's my birthplace. Not Rockeville Centre, though--I believe that was the location (I believe Trees Lounge is set in my birth place, Valley Stream. There's an AG fact for you. ) ,, so it was special....the trains...I've spent so much of my life on those trains...However I got lost somehow and wound up only bleeding for Carrey's character and not even understanding Tangerine, which seems weird to me. I think i walked away disliking her a lot but I knew I needed to see it again and then I would get it. So shit, I need to study up on that. I was hoping to get crushed, didn't happen, but my heart is open for the second smashing!

I don't recall Happiness being sad! Am I retarded? I thought it was horrifyingly hilarious, totally BLACK but I mean sure YES there was total sadness but I thought it was too black to feel sadness I THINK. I might've been too busy freaking out off Seymour Hoffman b/c I worship him. He was hilarious. Maybe I'm fucking retarded. That park shoot out was nirvana on film. So bad but it was hilarious, I'm so sorry. I guess i am just really black. However I often cry briefly at the end of Muriel's Wedding so I dunno.

I'm about to kill you again: I DID NOT LIKE Stevie. I turned it off. I wasn't following it. I LOVE documentaries actually. We'll get to that in a second. I just couldn' get a handle on Stevie for whatever the reason I mean I actually turned it off and that's not common for me. Maybe I was disturbed by all the casualness but ultimately I remember having no feelings. I hope that doesn't make me sound bad. I am not always a cruel person..I dunno.

Yeah I need to see SICK. I heard the same thing; not a dry eye in the house. I don't know if I'm ready, though! But I will eventually.

///quick change///

Just documentaries for a second--
Did you see Capturing the Freidmans? Brutal. I saw it about 6 times. I think I might've cried. Just awful.
And without saying (you might know this about me already) the West Memphis 3 documentaries, forget it. That's a whole other matter.

War movies at all? That's real uncharted territory for me as I was always afraid of them. Did you see Saving Private Ryan? I saw the first part and NEED to see the rest, I was entirely captured.

Finally, "the hello beautiful scene at the cemetary got the eyes welling up. Oh Lord you got me again! That could've been an easy one but I was just devestated. Well-up sure but it was hard to let it go b/c it was just so beautiful I was startled. :shudder: I want to see it again and pretty much to get that scene one more time.

He's the King, no doubt. The last string....yeah. You know how I feel.

my journal isn't hostile; you actually reminded me of something perfect but i need to head out now. i think i might go start 25th maybe. but definitely back on the bummer. later.

Hey......your post gave me warm feeling, just a feel-good thing. So much good stuff and I love it. We have good talks! I love them and I got happier that you recalled our first contact was over that scene. That was amazing. You pray for stuff like that just that someone "gets" whatever it is sometimes.

[like talking about a crushing movie and saying to someone "Dude did that shit destroy you?" Answer: "Yeah. I got fucked. It was so awesome." And then you love it and get excited, laughing that this film got you like that.]

Anyway, that was nice to tell me about your story with your mom. I got one you would like-you reminded me of something sweet:
I knew someone who held on to a story his dad always held on to for him, and I believe it was like a "life lesson" thing--re: faith, pain, anything. So that dad got suspended from school as a child and why? He wouldn't rise to salute the flag. I won't bore you with the whole story but you know it's great either way. He was a KID and he wasn't trying to be anything, he just didn't understand. And they threw him out of school! HIS father tells him at home during the suspension, I'm proud of you, son. You did the right thing. You didn't do a BAD thing but you did right for your heart. Whatever makes you unsure is okay because you don't know and maybe you don't have to. But you use your gut and that gets you through your life. You don't need to salute shit to justify yourself and how you live.

The story...Golly I can't believe I remember it was written in a hardcore zine I used to write columns for and it was one I fell in love with b/c I knew this jerk and how iron he was and I was like, that is the sweetest shit ever and that's what I like in my writing/whatever it is. It was very awesome.

You and I do that, we let off little life things that are cute and help ya out.

I didn't get to church today and I screamed "GODAMN IT" over this when I saw the clock. Tomorrow's Sunday, though. Holy enough.

I am so flattered by your feedback of my review. I will go check; I just kinda got on line now.

But thank you again, you inspire me and I hope you're having a good one, duh.

Awwwwwwwesome. You know I had a horrible fear last post of "I am talking SO much I'm going to really piss this guy off." So it's totally rad that at random you say you like to hear everything, awwww. Because I feel like I really want to gush these things but then I stop myself b/c it's the internet, it's an odd place (the site) and I'm actually a little more hyper than usual. But I'm relieved it's well received anyway! :whew: Yay......

First you should know I have The Life Aquatic soundtrack on. Did I mention....I bought a ticket to see Seu Jorge play here live!?!? I saw it on a flyer/had no idea and nearly broke a cold sweat. Got my ticket the next day. I attend maybe a concert a year, so this feels like pending luxory, not just my yearly treat!

Anyhoo. Your other comments after the church question were so sweet, wow, I haven't been asked that in a while. !?!!? If ever. Or maybe once. And you will have to do the same. So maybe I should just approach it in my own style...

Tell you about me...I have to tell you that I'm in the midst of some sort of rapture right now, and it's very startling. I proclaim--literally, that previous to this past year (before my last birthday) I lived my world as a victim. The problem with that is if you don't catch it soon enough you're gonna wind up dead, on drugs or whatever. It hit me like a bolt of lightening last year, scared the shit out of me and while I've certainly had some fumblings since then, I have been literally like a boxer or something in seeing that my life never returns to what it always was. And that's funny you know? How do you fight your whole life if you don't know anything else--it seems you could do anything better maybe but I need something more permanent I guess. But it's scary as well.

It's a funny thing to be just plowing along your life and you wake up one day to be hit with YOU JUST WOKE UP (from a nightmare? a fantasy? what?) and for me, I'm being informed that this is my last year in my 20's. Really now, I'm 30 next year and I just got here? Like this with only what I brought now? At first I was mad but now, I can't believe what I've been able to do on my own that I can't imagine the "regular" shit like, I need to go back to school for example...hmm. Maybe I'm just in time.

Maybe you can tell why I've been so obsessed with BIll Murray now, with his reportrayal of the same role, of what is it--is it the grown up child in an older man's body looking around? I know you know what I'm talking about, but it's one of the reasons I find pleasure in his roles/films. I feel like that. Maybe.

As for my personal resume, like things that are revealing about me: I have my sister's nickname tattooed across my arm and I only have tattoos b/c they are gifts from a best friend. I've only had one boyfriend in my life-for 2 years on and off and I hated him through most of it. I only finally became a cat mother last year, by chance. One was a gift and the other similar. I never wanted one because they get sick or die eventually and I couldn't have any heartbreak, but I totally got broken. My favorite rock star guy is Nick Cave but I'm totally not afraid to shut off one of his cds when he starts sounding like a drunk angry ex husband. I'm from Brooklyn and I have no relationship with either of my parents. I'm kind of alone in Philly, no buddies and not a lot of friends period. I visit my favorite thrift store once a week, every week and each time find a golden ticket while normally always never spending more than a buck on anything. I visit other thifts as well and it's just my biggest hobby. I am pretty nostalgic for anything expired. I go nuts in general for any film that is supposed to be miserable and I find something so beautiful I cry from that beauty and if I get a good cry, I feel happy. It's a free release but in exchange for beauty. I only wear black. I never wear pants. I love my grandparents. I love a lot of mainstream rock. I used to be a too-good-for-that punk rocker and now I do not care. Although Glenn Danzig owns a place in my heart.

Fuck now you go. Say funny stuff.

{that KILLED me, the random TLA quote---- }

Now I tell you, let's go get this shark.

ok i'm back ( i HATE ignoring comments before clearing. it was just too dramatic though ). one minute won't kill me.

the roommates, oh LORD I don't know where all these freaks come from, the responses you get ot ads, I want to smash my own face in. it really is a nightmare, and me too, i have total social issues and fears that pretty much barricade me inside a lot, so if my safety is threatened here, i get way freaked out! it's terrifying. i have all week; i seriously pray.

thank you SO much for the compliments. i REALLY like this new one--go look. HA!!! I got the Kubrick eyes. thank you i really appreciate it. it's amazing what happens whaen you put a ...what do you call it...ah COMB thru your hair! yes.

i took that pic for you to see! and of course it makes me smile. thanks of course and hope everything is good.

thank you!!! oh i'm glad you like what you can see of my funny decor--nobody complimented, thank you! i like my zany stuff.

oh Taxi Driver, ugh. lovelovelove but i have the weirdest association thanks to my last roommate (believe it or not i JUST in June got rid of an old crazy one i was stuck with for a year!) has a fucking beautiful tattoo on her leg with the great still of DeNiro's face, with the mohawk. i was SO JEALOUS mostly of the BALLS to do that as she works in childcare, too. so sometimesi have a flashback to wanting to Bickle HER when i think of the Bick.....and i am trying to rid me of that!!! Travis is everyones!

i hope things will be alright too. this roommate shit is such bullshit b/c of how hard it is as well to just get people to call you back and so forth. liike HELLO i've got a crucial time budget!!! at this point i'm not even fearing, i'm trying to mellow. i got a great email (as response) that could seriously help me at this time, so i just hope the jerk calls!!! thank you for caring but i feel it: I AM NUMB over this.

ohhh thank you. i'm interesting? yay! black comedy is always interesting, oh life..........



and thanks for the compliment!!! that roommate had small cans, i suspect it was envy.


email= will be fine. was just thoroughly shocking, it's not everyday you get slapped in the face like this. or punched.

which Nick book?? I am considering selling one of them, let me know.

I have a problem with collecting books I never read and the best is I seem to only read books I've read before.

I got the bio on Amazon (impossible to find) and the novel off Ebay--also hard to find but I'm not sure why as mighty Rollins is the publisher.

ahhhhhh that one. that's the one i want to finsih reading! i started and it's quite fascinating. not so cheap on Amazon I mean basically you can get it new, same price for cheapest here but the cover looks like an old edition--hmm! i would wonder about that b/c i strongly doubt they all all like that.

the Bunny: print where? where is this image in the DVD? EvanX told me he'd never seen it before either! i found it in a film magazine!

Knowing something is coming makes the wait seem longer, I think. Just try not to think about it and it will be there in no time.

I enjoyed my movies very very much....had to take a nap after I watched them.

good luck with going back to school! I need to go back to school too, but I have no ambition
I know what you mean about how much jobs suck! At my job, they expect you to work overtime, to get everything done, and then they make you cut the overtime! So, basicly it's like working for nothing! I usually find some way to sneak around cutting it though.....I worked it ,damn it, I am going to get paid for it!!
*Oh, and thanks for hoping I get better...it's not too bad now. *

it is sounding like there will be a lot of detroit people there it will be nice to meet you all

You left a comment in my journal and I just wanted to come and say hi right back at ya. ; ) October is my favorite month too.. Something about the way the air smells and the feeling I get when I'm outside walking between the trees. Check ya later! : )