valen

I have been looking at the empty journal box for about five minutes and I can't seem to think of anything to type. Nothing is new with me right now. No job, no school til august, no money. Bleh.

I have been in a real Jekyl & Hyde mood lately. I can be on the top of the world one minute, and then a ball of anger the next. Like yesterday. I let a comment on here get me completely bent out of shape. That goes against everything I "preach" about people getting their jollies from fighting online. I managed to get sucked in and I was semi pissed off for the rest of the day.

I usually try and keep an emotional distance when online. I used to play online games and would never post my picture and talk with others around the country over the phone. I liked to keep a bornder between myself and the computer.

SG has been helping me open up more. It is taking time though. It was a big step when I decided to upload a cople pictures with me in them. I have also exposed more of my emotions in my posts to other member, trying to give advice and comfort when and where I could.

I think that is another reason why I got so upset yesterday. I just finsihed pouring my heart out about my depression ovr the last couple months, and then get slapped by someone I didn't even know. I caught me so off-guard that I exploded.

Maybe it is better when I pull back instead of giving. I don't have near the enjoyment, but also nowhere nere the hurt.

We will see.