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valcapone

Canada

Member Since 2005

Followers 108 Following 81

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Wednesday Jul 19, 2006

Jul 19, 2006
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I am bombing the internet with notices that Black Heart has weekly updates. So here's an explosion for you:

It's time for another Black Heart Weekly Update, this one written by yours truly. And guess what? It's non-fiction! Jigga WHAT?! That's right, this week I tell all about La Clique, a sideshow burlesque I went to see this weekend. It's hot, it's sexy, it'll get you laid. If you are anywhere near the Montreal area, you must see it. You will kick yourself if you don't. It's on until July 30!

Anyway, in case you are too lazy to go to our website (shame on you!) this is the review. And if YOU have a review you'd like to write, or a non-fictional story you'd like to share, let me know! You can contact me at laura @ blackheartmagazine.com.

And now, your moment of smut.


La Clique: A sideshow burlesque love story
by Laura Roberts


Until last Saturday night, I was a burlesque virgin.

For those of you similarly afflicted, dictionary.com defines burlesque as "a variety show characterized by broad ribald comedy, dancing and striptease." Dirty jokes and naked people? Sold!

Hey, you don't need to ask the editor of a smut mag twice when the question involves T&A.

I had heard about the so-called burlesque revival, and had even considered attending some of the shows that had popped up in Montreal throughout the year. The rave-reviewed Johnny Canuck sold out just before I could purchase tickets back in February, thwarting me once again. This time I was determined.

This time, I had a man on a mission to please his lady friend.

So on July 15, my lover wined and dined me, then whisked my dangerously high-heeled feet down the street to see La Clique, a "sideshow burlesque" from Melbourne, Australia. Playing at the Just For Laughs Museum (2111 St-Laurent) until July 30, the show features freaks, geeks and the aforementioned striptease. Keep your eye on that red handkerchief.

The atmosphere is carnivalesque, with Sousa marches ushering the crowd to its (first come, first serve) seats. Alcohol is served, though, tragically, not by scantily-clad waitresses who keep their change in their garters--a minor improvement the museum's management might want to consider for future shows.

Like the circus sideshow it emulates, La Clique offers acrobats, magicians, hula-hoopers, contortionists and sword swallowers, in addition to more cabaret-style acts such as singers, dancers and comedians. The finale features a shirtless man in a bathtub, and to avoid ruining the surprise, let's just say that the front row was issued plastic sheeting and leave it at that.

Two shows run nightly at 9:00 and 11:30 PM, and as I tottered drunkenly out of the building on my date's arm, I gave people in line for the 11:30 show the thumbs up to indicate my approval. By the next morning, I was sorry I hadn't personally thanked the cast of La Clique for getting everyone all hot and bothered. From ladies in latex to men in Union Jack boxer briefs, everyone in the audience got what they were looking for.

I'm not a burlesque virgin anymore. And for my next trick, I'm going to need a trapeze.

________________

* This piece was originally published at http://blackheartmagazine.com/index2.php?p=weekly_story&id=5 on July 19, 2006; please do not reprint without permission. You may send a copy of this bulletin to a friend if you so desire, but please retain all links to blackheartmagazine.com. Thanks!
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
carlow:
See? SEE?! Such wonderful uses for pomade, I don't even know where to begin. Just last week (on one of those crazy hot & humid days), a bee flew straight in my hair and got stuck. I flicked it out and it fell to the ground and couldn't fly away because of the pomade on his wings... so I stepped on it. That taught him.
Jul 19, 2006
siera_erradia:
hehehehe are shure???


that you get guys.....and not guys getting you?


Jul 19, 2006

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