vagrantminerva

I'm a bit down tonight. I feel so lame complaining online.. but it makes me feel better to just type and get it out. At least make me feel better until I stop being cheap and buy myself a new journal.

I'm getting really worried about my trip to Georgia to see Nathan next month. I need to lose 17lbs by August 23rd. I hate feeling so big. I hate feeling so ugly when I am around him. Like he is humouring me when he says I look good. He treats me wonderfully... and I think he deserves better then seeing me being all fat ass looking when I go to see him after 5 months.


And then I'm stupid and nibble on a bit of low carb cornbread tonight. And I think I fucked it up again. I wanted to stay under 15 carbs today. And I'm sitting here actually thinking about taking Stacker 3's again.


I should just sleep on it. Go to work tomorrow.. then hit the gym.. and then stop being well.. a tubby ass.


I am not looking to be TINY. I know I can never be that.
I just want to be good in my own skin. be as good as MY body can be.