utterfailure

My fellow Americans:


As your CEO president I've decided it's now necessary to sell our ports to the UAE. Don't yall worry none. They have lots of money and can help my family err.... I mean.... America out a lot. Some of you are probably askin yerselves, "Why did we invade Iraq, which had no connection to 9/11, and now turn around and sell our ports to the UAE, which does have connections to 9/11?" Well we can't worry bout thet kinda stuff anymore. We don't want to make our friends the UAE feel bad do we? Aw heck! I'm really just tryin ta help my family out. Okay ya caught me! So my family's friends with tha Bin-Ladins and the Saudi royals. Big deal! A guys gotta make money right ?! The whole war's really just about money any how. Ya think we really care bout them Iraqis? Heh heh heh. Hey don't you worry none. We'll build a REAL purdy memorial for them folks thet died on 9/ll. Pretty soon yall will forget any of this happened anyhow. Heck, this'll prolly make for some real nifty video games. And we all love video games right ?

So remember; in the end I did this for video game lovers everywhere. YEE HAWW. And never forget; the terrorists are everywhere and they're going to kill you!! HEH HEH HEH