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9
I have no idea how to bootstrap myself out of this hell hole. Professional help is non existent or vapid. I barely leave the house these days and my only conversations are with myself. It’s my fault, I know, I know don’t deserve happiness, let alone love. But it’s still difficult to accept.
Difficult to accept, yes you are in a death trap, there is...
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headshot:
Everyone deserves happiness and love. There are no exceptions. Desperate acts are committed because of just their lack. If you feel that everything is very bad, you need to contact a specialist immediately. It's better to spend money than to live in hell. And there's nothing worse than being alone at a time like this. Hey, text me DM. I apologize in advance if my reply is delayed. Communication can bring relief, but only therapy and antidepressants can relieve severe depression.
skisby:
I don’t have any answers I’m afraid but I have found stoicism to be helpful.  I’m not joking when I tell you that the Dory quote from Finding Nemo plays constantly in my head -“Just keep swimming”!!  Also this quote -  The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.— RALPH WALDO EMERSON

Thoughts #4

5
ugh. I actually know this will be a dreadful failure. But see, I am learning, this need not be a bad thing. Because time, relentlessly, marches forward. And we have no control. We are but little vessels on an endless ocean. With the massive waves, and the endless currents. We are, and that is all.
My philosophy has become one of 'radical acceptance'. No guilt,...
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Thoughts #3

4
sorry, this is going to be rather problematic. I used to say on Twitter "this will cost me some followers" but then again, so....? Life, life, is a very interesting thing. It mostly just kinda happens. I was ten when I asked "how long is the movie of my life?" what's in between? There, and then?
And between all the pretentious philosophical bull crap there...
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Thoughts #2

2
And the last person in my life, besides the therapist on weekly unjustifiable occasion, left my life. Through a, rather fascinating, series of circumstances. That's how I try to tell the story. But it does mean, I am truly alone now. With no job, 250k in savings, and a severe mental illness. YOLO?
Good lord at 36 I had such high hopes for my life!...
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Thoughts #1

3
Funny thing this mind that oscillates between "stop whining, just get a job, yes you are a cog and the machine is bleeding to death, just roll over until you die" versus "welp, my life, If I wanna become a documentary film maker or whatever, just try it; yes you are alone, but just undo that. Edit."

But it's not how that works. Not after...
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Hopefully the last time I do this 😅

 4
uruviel2001:
Anyways I’m just gonna continue spamming my Dutch book in English, which is, admittedly, not the smartest thing I’ve ever done. entoenvoormijnlotgenoten.nl/files/book.pdf the physical version is not far away (just some mouse clicking and waiting).I do not recommend reading it if you don’t like a first person perspective on severe mental health, philosophy or are dreadfully allergic to weird prose. If you happen to like to those things, chances are ever so slightly higher that you’ll read it to the end.

I own a bit of space. A small space, but it's my space.

 7

I own a bit of Moon, Mars, fossil and a 6 kg Iron meteorite. Each with their own story. My story is that I sold my house, broke up, lost my job, became psychotic, twice, moved places, lost myself. Found a moment to hold a piece of moon. Wrote a book. I am bipolar, clearly insane, and an author.
alexislust:
I am sorry to hear that you are living through a difficult period in your life. Most recently, you talked in a blog about your book that was published in English. How do you feel about this?
littlejohn22:
You are on a very wild adventure
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