Yet an other update... I have been talking shit throught with Johnritchie...I'm quite glad to say that I guess we are back together.. wow.. I'm getting emo here.. *slaps herself... " SNAP OUT OF IT ! "* lol... *cough cough*... so ya.. wow.. I love you sweetie !
----------------------------------------------------------------------A short update before I head out to school. Yesterday night being election night in your world and everything, me and my friends just spent the night watching the polls and being utterly traumatized that they hadnt announced who had won by midnight... what kind of un efficient shit is that ! Argh.... *shakes her head, discouraged.. * Anyway I was so sleepy I totally crashed. And yes you guessed it.. I ended up in his bed. But this time. Nothing happenned. We just talked everything over. And honestly, I'm very pleased. We talked until 2 am I think and shit well.. I'm happy we've decided to stay friends.. even if we were both relunctent to... it was the best thing we could agree on. So I caught some ZzzzZZzZ and woke up at 6 this morning.. Walked by across town to my place.. Got into this huge argument with my parents.. and well that sucked. But I did get my big brother back so.. ya I'm really grateful for that. I guess it just goes to show that sometimes friendship does get passed horrible shit and comes out stronger.. wow.. i'm really happy about this..
Also I did want to point out that I'm really surprised and saddened about Johnritchie's attitude.. after the weird comments.. I read an email today... he's willing to give us an other chance.. I dont know how this will turn out.. but I am curious.. ( and hopefully not nave.. ) and I do still have very strong feelings for him.. so .. ya .. I'm going to call him up tonight.. and see what happens from there..
Hugs to all and to all a great day !
Until I update ...
*more hugs*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A quick note... I will be moving to montreal at the end of my term.. I have decided that I cannot live here anymore. I cant do anything without thinking about that night or actually seeing him in the same room as I since we have the same gang of friends...so fuck this shit.. I'm leaving.. So hello Ink, Audio, starguitar and all the other people from Sg and everywhere that I know in mtl... now.. all I need is a roomate !
----------------------------------------------------------------------A heart felt hello to all of you as I return to Sg land..Apparently I have been given free Sg membership.. wich I do not understand why but... I guess its one more reason to stay... but actually... I came back because a lot of you wrote me emails saying that you missed me and since I did miss all of you... here I am... to stay.
As I have not written to all of you since October 13th.. I feel we have much catching up to do.. Many adventures have happenned to me since I last gave sign of life and I wish to share them all with you. With the best of my memory, I will start with last weekend as it is of that moment that everything came to an end with Johnritchie. When I look back.. it was the best thing to do honestly.. since the time that he had totally fucked me over and was actually testing me.. I felt sort of used and I guess when he told me that because j-f raped me... he didnt want me in his life anymore.. well lets just say that TOTALLY made me see what he was all about.. but hey sweetie... I do want to thank you for making me beleive in love for a couple of months... now I know it does exist... only that I will never find it.
So on saturday, I went to my friend Cindy's place.. we studied physics together for at least 3 hours.. and then she started to roll spliffs and smoke them like mad... so well I ended up studying by myself for a while. We watched a National geographic's documentary on Bears and something on biological agriculture in Nunavut.. wich happenned to be very interesting.. Then we got ready to go to my friend's show.. As eye bleed opening for Rape... We got there and it didnt start until 10h30 so we decided to just all go to their practice place... hanging out and shit.. so ya I was walking with j-f and I guy I had met two weeks earlier.. and for some reason well Greg ( the new guy ) thought j-f liked me from the way he had replied to something Greg had said to me.. So that was sort of awkard.. and well after that j-f and I were chatting a bit... and then all of us went back to the bar.. and since we had a bit of time before the show started.. j-f and I hung around the pool tables and talked more.. he was nervous so I gave him a big hug and a kiss on the forehead... I think we talked for about 15 to 20 minutes .. So ya whatever... it all went well during the show and shit.. lots of friends where there and it was pretty cool... and boy did j-f look good on that stage with his hair down and all the smoke and shit.. ( I'm skipping lots of shit right now that isnt really important.. )So when the show finished ... actually when the first part was over.. I went outside with Greg and Rob since we didnt feel like listening to Rape... by then Mercredi ( this bitch formely known as Wenesday... but in french
) started yelling like mad that she wasnt pregnant... I have no idea on what she was.. but god .. that was hell.. Anyway.. J-f came out because he didnt want to listen to rape either or staying backstage... so we just went to chill again at their lock... Talking and shit.. with two good friends a guy I had seen once.. and j-f... After that.. I helped that keeper of my soul to bring back his guitar and shit to the lock.. thank god its only two blocks away from the bar... it was about minus 10 that night.. After many back and forths between the bar and the lock.. I was pooped... I was going to hit back home but j-f was like.. NOOoooo come to the party... so I ended up in a jeep with him and an other guy.. and we drove a bit until we got there.. it was bout 3 am I guess and the party was going downhill.. meaning that everyone was already wasted.. sleeping with everyone else and smashing, throwing empty beer bottles... So we hopped back into the jeep.. and I was actually trying pretty hard not to fall asleep.. So we finally got to j-f's place wich was empty and quiet.. I just collapsed onto him on a sofa . I do remember waking up once to see that his roomy and his gf where back and thinking that i should go home.. but when I got up.. I totally fainted ( lack of food because I'm really drowning thease days .. and well lack of rest.. ). And well.. from there.. its hard .. so I wish to tell only the ones who truely want to know what happenned.. *cries*
Skipping that awfull part of my life.. I have also this news to tell you.. My friend has died of an overdose, a girl I knew since I was 6 yrs old... A schoolfriend just died of a cancer.. My good dude friend is in the hospital for a psychose ( massive pot consumption ) and well... three of my friends have had a car accident.. they all died on the spot.. I have been to two funerals this week... I have three more to go to... I am flunking math... J-f .. well for you to understand you'd have to ask about the previous shit.
But rejoice my good lads... I do have some relatively good news.. I got 4 new piercings yesterday ( surface on my wrist), I met a great guy who is a photographer and we will collaborate for a piercing tattoo zine, got a great new corset..spent an evening with my brother in a caf... and well.. I've grown closer to my friend Cindy.. wich is great.
But none of the less.. I feel like shit.. I wish I could bluntly tell you all about this... but its WAY to hard for me..
I care about all of you and I wish you the best
Until I reply,
*hugs*
----------------------------------------------------------------------A short update before I head out to school. Yesterday night being election night in your world and everything, me and my friends just spent the night watching the polls and being utterly traumatized that they hadnt announced who had won by midnight... what kind of un efficient shit is that ! Argh.... *shakes her head, discouraged.. * Anyway I was so sleepy I totally crashed. And yes you guessed it.. I ended up in his bed. But this time. Nothing happenned. We just talked everything over. And honestly, I'm very pleased. We talked until 2 am I think and shit well.. I'm happy we've decided to stay friends.. even if we were both relunctent to... it was the best thing we could agree on. So I caught some ZzzzZZzZ and woke up at 6 this morning.. Walked by across town to my place.. Got into this huge argument with my parents.. and well that sucked. But I did get my big brother back so.. ya I'm really grateful for that. I guess it just goes to show that sometimes friendship does get passed horrible shit and comes out stronger.. wow.. i'm really happy about this..
Also I did want to point out that I'm really surprised and saddened about Johnritchie's attitude.. after the weird comments.. I read an email today... he's willing to give us an other chance.. I dont know how this will turn out.. but I am curious.. ( and hopefully not nave.. ) and I do still have very strong feelings for him.. so .. ya .. I'm going to call him up tonight.. and see what happens from there..
Hugs to all and to all a great day !
Until I update ...
*more hugs*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A quick note... I will be moving to montreal at the end of my term.. I have decided that I cannot live here anymore. I cant do anything without thinking about that night or actually seeing him in the same room as I since we have the same gang of friends...so fuck this shit.. I'm leaving.. So hello Ink, Audio, starguitar and all the other people from Sg and everywhere that I know in mtl... now.. all I need is a roomate !
----------------------------------------------------------------------A heart felt hello to all of you as I return to Sg land..Apparently I have been given free Sg membership.. wich I do not understand why but... I guess its one more reason to stay... but actually... I came back because a lot of you wrote me emails saying that you missed me and since I did miss all of you... here I am... to stay.
As I have not written to all of you since October 13th.. I feel we have much catching up to do.. Many adventures have happenned to me since I last gave sign of life and I wish to share them all with you. With the best of my memory, I will start with last weekend as it is of that moment that everything came to an end with Johnritchie. When I look back.. it was the best thing to do honestly.. since the time that he had totally fucked me over and was actually testing me.. I felt sort of used and I guess when he told me that because j-f raped me... he didnt want me in his life anymore.. well lets just say that TOTALLY made me see what he was all about.. but hey sweetie... I do want to thank you for making me beleive in love for a couple of months... now I know it does exist... only that I will never find it.
So on saturday, I went to my friend Cindy's place.. we studied physics together for at least 3 hours.. and then she started to roll spliffs and smoke them like mad... so well I ended up studying by myself for a while. We watched a National geographic's documentary on Bears and something on biological agriculture in Nunavut.. wich happenned to be very interesting.. Then we got ready to go to my friend's show.. As eye bleed opening for Rape... We got there and it didnt start until 10h30 so we decided to just all go to their practice place... hanging out and shit.. so ya I was walking with j-f and I guy I had met two weeks earlier.. and for some reason well Greg ( the new guy ) thought j-f liked me from the way he had replied to something Greg had said to me.. So that was sort of awkard.. and well after that j-f and I were chatting a bit... and then all of us went back to the bar.. and since we had a bit of time before the show started.. j-f and I hung around the pool tables and talked more.. he was nervous so I gave him a big hug and a kiss on the forehead... I think we talked for about 15 to 20 minutes .. So ya whatever... it all went well during the show and shit.. lots of friends where there and it was pretty cool... and boy did j-f look good on that stage with his hair down and all the smoke and shit.. ( I'm skipping lots of shit right now that isnt really important.. )So when the show finished ... actually when the first part was over.. I went outside with Greg and Rob since we didnt feel like listening to Rape... by then Mercredi ( this bitch formely known as Wenesday... but in french
) started yelling like mad that she wasnt pregnant... I have no idea on what she was.. but god .. that was hell.. Anyway.. J-f came out because he didnt want to listen to rape either or staying backstage... so we just went to chill again at their lock... Talking and shit.. with two good friends a guy I had seen once.. and j-f... After that.. I helped that keeper of my soul to bring back his guitar and shit to the lock.. thank god its only two blocks away from the bar... it was about minus 10 that night.. After many back and forths between the bar and the lock.. I was pooped... I was going to hit back home but j-f was like.. NOOoooo come to the party... so I ended up in a jeep with him and an other guy.. and we drove a bit until we got there.. it was bout 3 am I guess and the party was going downhill.. meaning that everyone was already wasted.. sleeping with everyone else and smashing, throwing empty beer bottles... So we hopped back into the jeep.. and I was actually trying pretty hard not to fall asleep.. So we finally got to j-f's place wich was empty and quiet.. I just collapsed onto him on a sofa . I do remember waking up once to see that his roomy and his gf where back and thinking that i should go home.. but when I got up.. I totally fainted ( lack of food because I'm really drowning thease days .. and well lack of rest.. ). And well.. from there.. its hard .. so I wish to tell only the ones who truely want to know what happenned.. *cries*
Skipping that awfull part of my life.. I have also this news to tell you.. My friend has died of an overdose, a girl I knew since I was 6 yrs old... A schoolfriend just died of a cancer.. My good dude friend is in the hospital for a psychose ( massive pot consumption ) and well... three of my friends have had a car accident.. they all died on the spot.. I have been to two funerals this week... I have three more to go to... I am flunking math... J-f .. well for you to understand you'd have to ask about the previous shit.
But rejoice my good lads... I do have some relatively good news.. I got 4 new piercings yesterday ( surface on my wrist), I met a great guy who is a photographer and we will collaborate for a piercing tattoo zine, got a great new corset..spent an evening with my brother in a caf... and well.. I've grown closer to my friend Cindy.. wich is great.
But none of the less.. I feel like shit.. I wish I could bluntly tell you all about this... but its WAY to hard for me..
I care about all of you and I wish you the best
Until I reply,
*hugs*
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
[Edited on Nov 04, 2004 8:18PM]