Things about me that could be construed as negative...if you happen to be a hopeless sissy
- I'm a firm believer that attention - much like respect - should be earned and not expected. I know this sounds a lot like something that a person without the natural gift of naked breasts would say, but believe it or not, I've seen tits before. If you want to impress me, make me laugh. I guarantee you that it's a lot harder than taking your shirt off.
- When I make eye-contact with someone, I usually don't break it unless they do first. It's not a conscious macho thing, it's just what I do. You probably wouldn't be suprised to find out how many crazy-ass conversations this has lead to. It's almost as if by making eye-contact with a psycho, you're giving them permission to tell you about the freedoms of pissing on the train.
- When people meet for the first time, the intro is usually followed by finding something interesting to talk about. I usually spend that time wondering if I could take you down should we both suddenly find ourselves inside Thunderdome.
- When I fight, I fight dirty. If I think there's any chance that I might lose, there's an equal chance that you're going to end up with dirt in your eyes. But don't worry. I only bite if I know you and we've been fucking for awhile.
- I've spent too much time with idiot film school students to give a back alley fuck about your subtext. People who try to come off as deep by spending their time burying messages like "consumerism is bad!" into a script could have been using that time constructing a solid backstory to explain how every character could be a ninja without any of the other characters knowing. Then they could all find out about each others deadly secret by embarrassingly showing up to the same assassination wearing the exact same thing.
- I like my movies two ways: big-budget and bad. Most fans of irony stick with small kitschy stuff, but like the Greeks, I don't believe a tragedy is an entertaining tragedy unless it's royalty.
- If you ask me what I do for a living, and I tell you I'm a loose cannon who plays by his own rules, and you roll your eyes, chances are you're going to hate me.
- I'm a firm believer that attention - much like respect - should be earned and not expected. I know this sounds a lot like something that a person without the natural gift of naked breasts would say, but believe it or not, I've seen tits before. If you want to impress me, make me laugh. I guarantee you that it's a lot harder than taking your shirt off.
- When I make eye-contact with someone, I usually don't break it unless they do first. It's not a conscious macho thing, it's just what I do. You probably wouldn't be suprised to find out how many crazy-ass conversations this has lead to. It's almost as if by making eye-contact with a psycho, you're giving them permission to tell you about the freedoms of pissing on the train.
- When people meet for the first time, the intro is usually followed by finding something interesting to talk about. I usually spend that time wondering if I could take you down should we both suddenly find ourselves inside Thunderdome.
- When I fight, I fight dirty. If I think there's any chance that I might lose, there's an equal chance that you're going to end up with dirt in your eyes. But don't worry. I only bite if I know you and we've been fucking for awhile.
- I've spent too much time with idiot film school students to give a back alley fuck about your subtext. People who try to come off as deep by spending their time burying messages like "consumerism is bad!" into a script could have been using that time constructing a solid backstory to explain how every character could be a ninja without any of the other characters knowing. Then they could all find out about each others deadly secret by embarrassingly showing up to the same assassination wearing the exact same thing.
- I like my movies two ways: big-budget and bad. Most fans of irony stick with small kitschy stuff, but like the Greeks, I don't believe a tragedy is an entertaining tragedy unless it's royalty.
- If you ask me what I do for a living, and I tell you I'm a loose cannon who plays by his own rules, and you roll your eyes, chances are you're going to hate me.
VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
Oh yeah, you should totally come and see Chronicles of Riddick with me and my friend Scott. We have to wait a week or two because we're both being drug tested for this paid medical research study that we're doing - but we're going to make quite an extravaganza out of it. Should be lots of fun.
Oh man, I know you came to the conclusion that I could SO take you down after we met.