uncommoncold

I made really awful cookies that had the consistency of rubber but I promise that I had good intentions and my night was half-wretched and half-beautiful and I couldn't tell the two apart but couldn't talk about it either and the orange lights were so far away and so blurred by the distance or perhaps the liquid in my eyes and I curled up in a blanket and choked on what could've been tears and wore my sunglasses and looked "like I should be off somewhere doing coke" because of it and I just wanted to be held more than anything and I spent this afternoon trying not to cry and dozing on a mattress under the guise of studying for the exam I just completed with my eyelids drooping and I haven't eaten yet today because I don't have any money for food right now so I'll wait until tomorrow and smoke the last of my two cigarettes instead and I was waiting at the bus stop with my skirt blowing around my knees and Johnny Cash in my ears and I felt like a lonely slut and nothing more and when I say I feel awesome, I mean it, and when I say I don't, I mean it as well.

I said I refused to be sad in this world. Especially when I can't pinpoint a source.

I'm trying- I swear I am- but right now, it's awfully difficult.

I wanted to tell you a story about last semester, but it can wait.

Hug me if you see me, internetlings, or run your fingers through my hair. Let's run away to Paris.

I don't remember ever feeling so alone.

you touch her skin and then you think
that she is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me.
yeah, she is beautiful,
but she don't mean a thing to me