uncognitive

I've decided to have my mid-life crisis early (or on time, if I wind up croaking in my mid-sixties), and need your advice on a pressing related issue.

I figured one of the best ways to celebrate my midlife crisis, since I cannot afford either a bitchin' Camaro or a trophy wife, would be to get a tattoo in order to try and reclaim some phantom shred of youthful rebellious hipsterosity.

However, I cannot choose between these two tattoo options:

1) Getting the Japanese kanji characters that mean "Japanese words" tattooed on my arm. Ah, the endless fun and/or barfights to be had:

Random person: "Hey, what does that tattoo mean?"
Me: "Japanese words"
RP: "No, what does it stand for?"
Me: "Japanese words"
RP: "I know they're Japanese words, douchebag, what do those words say?"
Me: "I told you, Japanese words."
(repeat until punches are thrown)

2) A topless female grim reaper holding a kitten while riding a flaming half-motorcycle / half-unicorn over a blood-soaked rainbow wrapped in barbed wire, with an American flag in the background.

I figure that'll be enough to increase my penis size by a good two inches, right?