txakurgorri

I'm lost... confused. Feeling alone, maybe because I am...

Things have gone from bad to worse. Life throwing everything and the kitchen sink. Part of me wants to shout out "Bring it on, you motherfuckin'-piece of shit-so-called deity. Give your worst!" The other part wants to hide in deep, dark place and never come out. So, which am I, the deviant one or the complacent one? Will I stand or will I give in?

I have been a wee bit angry lately. Okay, a lot angry lately. Most of it directed at certain people in my life. Do they deserve it? In retrospect, no, not all of it. I also have to think that I am not the greatest, nicest person when I am angry (Major Understatement). I have hurt them as well... So, am I wrong, right, just in the middle? What?

I don't know much anymore. Too much pain, mostly self-inflicted. Too much anger, also mostly self-inflicted. Too much of a battle inside myself for control of... myself...

I have done many things that I will always be ashamed of... I have been too violent, too stubborn, too defensive... feeling too guilty (that has a good reason too... bloody catholic upbringing... thanks mom(sarcasm magnified))... I know, I'm young, life has a lot to offer, learn from your mistakes... but what if..............