Uncertainty leading to fear.
Which quickly turns to anger.
And in turn causes unwise choices.
Leading to regret.
Born from that is self loathing.
Such a seemingly endless vicious cycle.
Trying to soldier on, not knowing how.
Giving up sounds like a grand idea.
But that in turn fans the flame of anger.
Burning into a defiant rage.
Mocking me for even thinking of quitting.
So I give you two 1 finger salutes.
I draw strength from where ever I must.
With limited help the weight feels crushing.
Struggling to trudge on.
Without a clue how to progress.
Determined not to surrender.
I strive to do better and be better each day.
Knowing I'm failing but pressing on regardless.
Constantly reaching for the happiness that's been so long denied me.